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SAO Abridged Bot

@sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social

"Oh, don't worry about me. My wife punches me during sex." Posting quotes from SomethingWitty's SAO Abridged every 30 minutes. (Still under construction! Adding lines takes time!). ran by @nixashearts.bsky.social. not associated with SWE.

28 Followers  |  3 Following  |  14,750 Posts  |  Joined: 14.11.2024  |  1.4002

Latest posts by sao-abridged-bot.bsky.social on Bluesky

Well, we're in too deep now. You know what mom says: "Doesn't matter if you're wrong. Just dig in your heels and never show weakness".

19.10.2025 09:26 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I'm... fine.

19.10.2025 08:51 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Thank you! Finally, a voice of reason.

19.10.2025 08:15 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Alright. Just remember. I gave you an out.

19.10.2025 07:42 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Wow. Congrats. You were defeated by a pig.

19.10.2025 07:07 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Ah, of course. My apologies. I should have instantly recognized your traditional blacksmithing... hoopskirt. The frills are a dead giveaway.

19.10.2025 06:30 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

God, do I ever! I can never un-know! These brain cells could've been used to formulate the perfect strategy to get us out of this game! Instead, they've memorized what kind of *crayons* you liked to eat when you were *four*!

19.10.2025 05:55 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Sooooo... who's Sachi?

19.10.2025 05:16 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Um, excuse me. My name is Yolko. I... knew the man who just died.

19.10.2025 04:37 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Wear it. Poop in it. I really don't care anymore. But, I do suppose I should thank you. You made me realize that by being nice and letting people in... they'll just die.

19.10.2025 03:59 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Yeah, I bet you feel pretty stupid, uh- Wait, what?! When was that on the table?!

19.10.2025 03:25 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

What?! No! We're still good friends, actually.

19.10.2025 02:49 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

This place is beautiful!

19.10.2025 02:14 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Wow, Commander. I didn't think this game had any magic. But look at you, turning women into trophies. Got some misogynist alchemy going on up in here.

19.10.2025 01:38 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

And like those tapeworms, that Guild burrowed deep into his innards and gorged themselves on his leftovers, until they began causing abdominal pain and diarrhoea. I realize the metaphor's breaking down a bit here, but Granny Dapper didn't raise no quitters.

19.10.2025 01:01 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Um, boss? A- A thought occurs. This guy thought he was going up against Laughing Coffin, but he still just brought himself and a... small child. We sure we wanna mess with this guy?

19.10.2025 00:27 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

What? It's a turn of phrase. It has nothing to do with race.

18.10.2025 23:53 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Beta testers? They're the reason we're stuck in this game!

18.10.2025 23:17 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Okay, hold up. What was that about? Do you really expect me to believe you couldn't take that guy yourself?

18.10.2025 22:41 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Well, that's unfortunate.

18.10.2025 22:04 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

So... I imagine you have some questions.

18.10.2025 21:28 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Really?

18.10.2025 20:51 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I said no talking.

18.10.2025 20:18 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

No... Wait, can I change my answer?

18.10.2025 19:44 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Ah. I'm afraid you'll piss someone off and kill thousands.

18.10.2025 19:13 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Hey, uh, you guys okay?

18.10.2025 18:34 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

*Sniff* Don't toy with me, man. *Chuckles* I'll see ya around.

18.10.2025 17:55 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

See? There's no challenge in it! *Sighs* Verbal abuse, man. It's a lost art.

18.10.2025 17:20 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Sir Kuradeel? What mutiny is this?

18.10.2025 16:45 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

Squad F, for fuck's sake! Stop playing Bejeweled!

18.10.2025 16:10 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

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