Cricket

🎉🎉🎉

As time goes on I get my strength back.. R-ICE got me all sorts of fucked up.. but I can handle it.. I have to handle it. I have to beat this. There is No other option for me.

My white blood cell booster’s injecting now.. as soon as it’s done I’m ripping it off and taking a nice warm shower.. it’s gonna feel so good to wash all the sweat from the past few days off me..

Oh man I was so violently ill this morning.. nearly passed out and could barely move.. I slept all day, got some nice cold water to help cool me down.. my husband made the most delicious chicken soup ever after too.. I’m feeling so much better now than a few hours ago.,

I survived chemo yesterday (: all done for a couple weeks.. I get to just stay home and relax now.. my body hurts so bad but the worst of it’s all over..

Rituximab hurts so fucking bad

2nd one going in.. 2 hours for this stuff.. then the fucking.. Rituximab… dreading that stuff

Almost done with the first drug for today.. 2 more to go..

I hope it’s not so bad this time.. I hope my body still has some resistance to it. It’s a 6 hour infusion… then a 1 hour eposticide.. then 2 hour ifosfamide.. then a final 1 hour hydration.. then I’m DONE with chemo for a few weeks..

Day 3 and final for this round of R-ICE chemo… the Rituximab is scheduled for a 6 hour infusion today… it’s been well over a year since my last dose so my antibodies for it are likely gone. I had such a bad reaction during the first infusion that I was hallucinating and my heart rate dropped

I really didn’t miss this feeling. This regimen is so much worse than my last one.. at least I’m almost done for today.

Get it.. cause the regimen I’m on is R-ICE… hah… hahah…

I love my friends

Chemo’s going in.. hopefully this shit doesn’t get me as sick as it did the first time. It’s a different regimen this time tho and from what I’ve heard this one is worse.

Only 2 rounds of chemo this time, 3 if you count FC. The next 3 days will be all day chemo infusions, then a 3 week break, then the next infusion followed by another pet scan to make sure it’s responding well to treatment

T Cells successfully extracted… they will be sent off and reengineered and I’ll see the again in about 6-8 weeks.. until then.. I start chemo tomorrow.. R-ICE is a pretty intense regimen from what I heard.. not looking forward to it. Rituximab was the absolute worst thing I’ve endured.

I’ll come out the other side of this happy and healthy.. I’ll never have to worry about this again. It sucks having a rare and aggressive cancer lol. Treatment better work.. I got too much going for me rn for it to not to.

Despite these last few years absolutely beating me into the dirt, it’s been so nice to be surrounded by people who care about me and treat me right.. I couldn’t ask for better friends, family, and husband.. y’all have made everything I’ve gone through worth it.

I got possesed into doing this

It’s alright, mom and gramma are cool 😎. And my husband better already know what’s going on in my life or we’re gonna have a domestic. (Joke)

I will add, this is one of the funniest/unfortunate ways to come out to my family depending how you look at it. Forgot I was on HRT as my oncologists listing off my medications I’m taking in front of my family LMAO

If all goes well, I’ll be out of the hospital before Christmas, and I’ll go back into remission before the end of the year. Hopefully my cool new T cells will eat my cancer up and clean me out, and I’ll never have to do this again.

After that, I’m gonna go through Fludarabine Cyclophosphamide in mid December as another form of chemo to suppress my immune system in preparation for CAR-T. After all chemo is done, I’ll get a few days of rest before the CAR-T infusion, which will be a weeks long stay in the hospital.

It’s still very treatable, and I have a game plan in place. I have my T cell extraction next Tuesday, after that I’ll be going through R-ICE chemotherapy first to weaken it while my cells are getting reengineered. It’s gonna be a super intense chemo this time around.

It’s very similar to the one previously diagnosed, the doctor said it’s not an apples to oranges comparison, rather a red delicious to a granny smith. Both are B cell lymphomas, but due to the different classification, some cells were likely resistant to treatment the first time around and survived.

So mixed bag of news. Yes, my cancer is back confirmed. Yes, it is likely the same cancer as before. But, with the larger biopsy sample taken this time, they were able to reclassify it from Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma, to Primary Mediastinal B Cell Lymphoma, which is a rare cancer.

So Help Me God I better get some decent fucking news today

Wish me luck today

I’ve really really been trying to keep it together, I put on the facade that everything’s ok, but truth is; I’m terrified. I’m terrified of what it is, I’m terrified treatment won’t work, I’m terrified of being alone..