Simon Earle

Appealing to everybody, pleasing nobody.

TBH, I was expecting a 'my email account was hacked, and I never wrote those words' type response, not a 'I WRITTED DEM IN WOTSITAPP AND IT'S ONLY FOR LOLZ'

Informed in writing at 10:37pm - we've all sent one those messages and regretted it in the morning...

A quick crack across the shins from a stout walking stick delivered by a meek pensioner would soon make them understand the error of their ways.

Jarvis Cocker giving off Geography teacher doing karaoke after trying red bull for first time energy.

Flynn boasts the merits of the UK pub while holding a pint of Belgian lager 😂

Would love to have been there when they described the outfits they wanted to have made for them... #totp

One-size-fit-all interchangeable bassline from Soul II Soul #totp

Steps did it better #totp

#uksnow SA45 1/10 not stickin'

#uksnow SA44 0/10 rain as normal

Most family conversations today have started with 'do you remember X?', shortly followed by 'they died'. I'm beginning to wonder if there has been a purge in Wigan.

Why would you impersonate Alvin Stardust? #totp

Cafe table on Frith Street, London

Just ordered a cappuccino and only realised the time when I sat down; don't think I got a look from the barista, but the internal shame is there.

That's a Friday-afternoon-dicking-about-with-AI logo if ever I saw one.

There should be an international standard.

Stop with your bleating

Losing to Spurs yesterday took me back 30 years 😂 All this winning just leads to disappointment ultimately so might as well be pragmatic about it.

Snow in Leigh. Will Dad risk his sacred Costa run? Doubt it—he won't trust the buses, which are clearly part of his 'Andy Burnham's master plan for chaos' theory.

He might be still carrying on the water bottles...

66% of bins emptied before noon. What a day.

Dickarus more like...

Screenshot of email featuring images of the dishes mentioned in the text.

Someone in Tesco's email marketing team clearly set out to provoke Italian food purists today...
Chicken piri-piri lasagne and pigs-in-blankets carbonara, anyone?
Bet they drink cappuccino after 11am too.

Weirdo

RNLI Clacton to welcome new Shannon lifeboat on Saturday 16 November | RNLI

I wonder if their MP will bother to show up for the arrival, despite claiming to be such a big supporter of the charity.

rnli.org/news-and-med...

A new study has unveiled that Wigan has the dirtiest takeaways in the UK A new study has revealed Wigan is the town with the dirtiest takeaways in the UK.

I'm assuming they haven't analysed Leigh data yet. www.wigantoday.net/lifestyle/fo...

One of those 9 functions is a bingo ball machine?

The date was in July.

Sky+ HD Digibox 2006