Vent

It's a logical A=B=C, not that it makes sense for an actual person to do it.

I know better than that

I'm acespec too. Aro, and I go through periods of enjoying sex in the abstract but being revolted when it comes down to get busy. I can't explain why I feel that way after it passes.

So you are acespec

I don't deny the cowardice, so it won't really have any sting.

People who casuakly switch between calling themselves bisexual, bi lesbian, and lesbian at different times throughout the day are not changing their sexuality three times a day.

That is an extremely generous view of that behavior.

They are now

Emotional investment absolutely is not required to express sexual attraction.

I'm not emotionally invested in the porn stars I like, or in the stranger I walk past in Wal-Mart. But even crushes are far fewer and more specific as an impersonal expression of romantic attraction.

Disagreeing politely usually leads to vitriol anyway, so what I'm just supposed to keep it to myself while they're free to shout their disagreement to their heart's content?

You labels should change as your sexuality does. No shame in that.

Gods aren't real.

And I'm allowed to disagree too.

I'm not sure. If you want to talk in private do it here first.

Commitment does not mean exclusivity.

Expressing romantic attraction requires more personal commitment between partners than sex does.

Not everyone agrees with you on that. If everyone who was a bi lesbian committed to always using bi lesbian and refrained from using lesbian by itself to describe themselves I wouldn't be here.

I don't mean saying stuff like "that's so lesbian of me" but saying "I'm a lesbian" and "as a lesbian".

I'm not trying to make you change your label, I'm asking logical follow up questions to the statements you make.

Romance takes commitment, sex doesn't.

Sexual attraction can be expressed casually and implicitly to an infinite number of people. Romance is restricted to a small number of carefully chosen individuals.

Outsiders experience your sexual attraction constantly, communicating it is more important.

I think the sexual attraction aspect is more important than the romantic aspect. I think sexual attraction to men inherently disqualifies the lesbian identity. Being only romantically attracted to men but being attracted both ways to women actually makes some sense as a use of bi lesbian to me.

I don't, but you said your label doesn't matter that much to you, so why not change it at the request of someone who you admit it matters more to?

They can make all the jokes about lesbians fucking men that they want and you just have to grin and bear it, but if you even think about joking about how good it is not to be attracted to men they will rain hell down upon you for your biphobia.

As you well know, no offense.

Then why not just use bi if it is of such little importance to you? What difference does it make?

I will remind you that I live in bumfuck nowhere surrounded by nazis. I don't think there is a single queer within a 100 miles of me.

Right now online is the only way I can conceivably speak to any queer person.

But you also need a special label to tell people you fuck men but you prefer women.

You don't listen to what I say, you just try to drill the self-evident rightness of your position into my skull, without taking my position seriously at all.

I don't think the split attraction model works particularly well outside of acespec.

Why would someone accept having a romantic relationship with someone, but not a sexual relationship, when their partner will have sex with other people but not them. They'd have to be acespec themself to work.

if your being bi is defined by what you prefer instead of what you love, that absolutely bleeds into other things, and prevents you from enjoying what little in life you can

why is it so important to you that you communicate you prefer women when the whole point of being bisexual is that you're attracted to both genders?

if you're trying to stop ppl asking if you prefer women, good luck; ppl are gonna ask bc how else will they know? besides how hard is it to say "I prefer women"?

Well now we're back to my very first tirade, about how needing to tell everyone that you are the kind of lesbian that fucks men is oh so important to you, but wanting to tell everyone that I'm the kind that doesn't is juvenile and biphobic.

The benefits of having a label that concisely communicates who you are to both respectable cishets and your fellow queers. Lesbian can either mean "no attraction to men" or "some attraction to men". It can't concisely communicate both, so whichever it does mean will benefit one more than the other.