Mythologic

"my meat has evaporated" and "i'm sitting in meat water" were not sentences i expected to say today and definitely not within 20 seconds of eachother

the best thing about falling in love with monster hunter is that i get to be excited about a new game release for the first time in a decade

spent the entire evening trying to decide what game to play in the evening 👍 fuck my chungus life

my packet of licorice says it's made with 10% less plastic and all i have to say is why is there a non zero amount of plastic in my licorice

the natural urge to buckshot roulette myself when i see people holding hands

going to get to the point where people say to me "you're not that tall" then i snap my back like fucking ozen and loom over them ominously

thank you korone for making it impossible to take the word 'trapezoid' seriously

sometimes i think i don't need to have such a strong filter on my intrusive thoughts and then i remember what my twitter likes look like

no one will ever give even 10% of the fucks you give about something, and vice versa

but that's not an excuse to act disinterested in someone's passions even if they don't return the favour

first aid training:
"if someone appears unresponsive, what is the first thing we want to check?"
"their pockets?"

"ram sticks" sound a lot more edible than they have any right to

i think we should bring back heraldry and point and laugh at everyone who has to make a new coat of arms and doesn't know what the rules are

would actually struggle to operate a social media account with any number of followers because i'd spend every waking moment trying not to start fights with every slop comment that gets posted in replies

wonder what wet concrete tastes like

as part of a depressive episode about six years ago i dumped a small collection of 2003 bionicles (including multiple toa nuva, two rahkshi, a single visorak and a single bohrok) and in hindsight it was one of the worst life choices i ever made

no your honour he does not have tourettes he is in fact just racist

no i don't play war thunder

fighting the urge to log in to a system from home and pull up documents because i am mad online and want to prove a point

it is with alarming regularity that i walk out the door in the morning and suddenly question whether or not i'm wearing any clothes

tell a chicago taxi driver "a word of advice: you can't always trust that arrow" and watch him glaze over and experience a vietnam flashback in real time

you know what? i'm glad there isn't a light in the freezer as well as the fridge. when i open the door at 3am i don't want to be blinded by the cold, incriminating light of justice, i want to commit my snack heresy in the comfort of the dark.

what am i eating from the freezer at 3am?

peas

apology for poor english
where were u when twitcom die
i was at house watching vtuber when phone ring
"twitter is kill"
"no"