Ian Thomas Malone

Unless it’s healthcare

When I was little, magazines that featured an exposed labia on the cover had to be embalmed with shrink-wrap.

God can rest easy now that he doesn’t have to put his pronouns in his email signature.

I can’t wait to tell my grandkids about the Giant Frogs that saved Portland.

Oh dear. I still sometimes feel bad for asking you to watch that so we could pod about it.

Bari Weiss was robbed.

Stephen Miller wants to invoke the Insurrection Act to stop Elon Musk from dating his wife.

No F*cking Way Republicans hate gender neutral bathrooms. ICE agents with full bladders in Chicago sure could use one right about now.

I wrote about ICE's toilet problem, the Dem's genius shutdown strategy, Pam Bondi's meltdown, and the sword that Donald desperately wanted to gift to King Charles. Republicans are an absolute mess right now. Sad!

Strange that Republicans are so obsessed with litter boxes, but forgot to bring any for ICE to use in Chicago.

Concepts of a deflection.

What happened to his spray-on hair?

In that same book, The America We Deserve (his 2000 Reform Party campaign policy book) he also includes a picture of Hillary Clinton with a caption that she’d make a great president.

“As a news organization, let’s tone down the rhetoric and get back to what really matters: hating on trans people.”

They should be more like Mike Johnson’s kid. Instead of playing video games, they should make a pact with their father to keep each other from screening adult films. Very normal.

Three days ago was my bottom surgery anniversary. Honored to have my Bluesky checkmark anniversary within the same week.

Bad Bunny should offer an olive branch to conservatives by performing with a hologram Charlie Kirk at the Super Bowl. I’m sure they’d have a normal reaction to that.

Why is Donald So Upset? The President could have used his UN Speech to take an authoritarian victory lap. Instead, he whined about an escalator that his own staff broke.

The latest from my favorite trans-sister, @ianthomasmalone.bsky.social :
open.substack.com/pub/ianthoma...

They should have scheduled this rally at Gitmo if they were going to torture hundreds of general by making them listen to his weave.

Only a Temu version of masculinity, the same kind who builds a makeup studio in his Pentagon office, would summon hundreds of generals to Quantico to try and teach them how to be more alpha.

It’s irresponsible of Trump to have Lindsey Halligan prosecute Comey, taking her away from the important work of figuring out who shot J.R.

I’m surprised that Lindsey Halligan has time to prosecute James Comey with all the drama going on at Melrose Place.

Fox won’t care as long as they can say that the shooter once ate at an Olive Garden where there was a trans person was seated a few tables away.

If a woman went out in public with her privates dangling out like his labia, she'd be arrested for indecent exposure.

Senate Democrats just let a “Day of Remembrance” for Charlie Kirk pass with unanimous consent. Something tells me that these are not the warriors we’re looking for.

The Dangerous Normalization of Charlie Kirk Be careful mentioning Charlie Kirk's own words. A mob of his supporters might try to destroy you.

I wrote about the mainstream media's sickening efforts to normalize Charlie Kirk on my Substack.

I heard that the shooter once used public TRANSportation.

These can’t both be true.

Charlie Kirk lived in Arizona, where I had all of my trans surgeries.

I dedicate my Kirkland Signature hardware to his memory.

People are saying the shooter didn't even have a single pronoun.

He looks tired. Maybe he should rest and resign.