Luigi with tits

Wait are milk duds supposed to be referring to men’s nipples ? You know like the caramel filled chocolate coated candies

Men will hate women but get lifted dually trucks. Like wym u got a truck with a bbl and stilettos ?

Just remembered 2 other words that upset me, both bc I feel like their definitions should be the opposite of what they are.
1.) opacity
2.) approximate

The word “concubine” does not match its definition in my head and it greatly upsets me.

“I hope this is a wake up call” baby, I’m mentally narcoleptic i fear.

Rhinos are freaks of nature.

My coworker told me she was in 8th grade when Fortnite came out and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

Idk why but I feel so connected with paper wasps, on some Snow White shit 😭😭

Drake said it’s lonely at the top but I’ve never been more at the bottom and I feel pretty damn lonely down here 😭😭😭

People love to talk about post nut clarity but what about post sob clarity

I bet the person who invented the word “fuck” felt so cool.

Genuinely tho, who was the first person to figure out newborns can swim intuitively and what was the intention there

Halsey just using her name Ashley but with the letters mixed up has inspired me. Instead of hannah i will now go by hannah

I’m choosing object permanence. If I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist. Babies have the right idea.

You win chrome, you lose some.

Please, nicotine is my father’s name. Call me nick.

Please, tobacco is my father’s name. Call me Toby.

Please, cigarette is my father’s name. Call me garrett.

Neeeed someone to make a tier list of which animal crossing villagers get the n word pass

“Please sperm shower is my father, call me sperm”

Do u think god ever looks down at us and thinks “swallow”

You can’t tell me being able to flip a blizzard upside down without it falling out isn’t just as impressive as Jesus walking on water

Biblically accurate blizzard

Imagine getting sent tiffs treats and the note attached says “I have chlamydia. You should get checked.”

I physically cringe every time I think ab an instance of me being nice to a man

Don’t ever say I’m not a butterfly bc I got my wings n everything. It’s called labia majora.

When u lose ur virginity to a man it’s cherry popping, when its to a woman its cherry blossom

What do u call an Irish chick with a bbl? Patty cakes.

The thing ab being a comedian is sometimes the jokes won’t land like the planes in 9/11