I'm finding it fascinating that my mind considers something that's just like a ring worn on the head is the absolute lowest idea, though. ...and it considers a more rectangular design to be one step above that.

OH DEAR! IS THE AUTISM HYPERFOCUSING AGAIN AND I MAKE MYSELF SOUND LIKE AN EXPERT?

Why am I focusing on this, though? It seems like it was a random whim of my mind originally.

...I get the idea I CAN make many different crown designs.

...That kind of design specifically to me is another kind of subsidiary design, though. I can't find it to be for something of great significance.

(It's at least one step above being just a circlet)

...and my mind super insists on it only being the design that has one point coming up from the center of the forehead.

*sigh* The Wikipedia entry showed me that it could be something like this, too, but I remind myself that technically, the term applies to any kind of crown and not a specific one.

It's also a term for any kind of ornamental headdress for either one.

...If there is a distinction I can make in my mind to something called specifically a "crown", I think it's that I can only consider a tiara or diadem to be feminine.

*research*

Apparently, the only difference between a tiara and a diadem is that a tiara has jewels in it. A diadem doesn't.

...*checking*

Fascinating. I got it backwards.

...But what the orientation is doesn't matter to me, just that I think it came from an evolved idea of that.

...As I was showing, if I take that idea far enough, it becomes the crown of Lower Egypt.

I don't know if there is a reason for that.

...Other than now it can be seen as important.

...My mind wondered why I didn't make a tiara, but my mind considers that to be a subsidiary crown.

I go on that I am not sure what the difference is with a diadem, other than it might be able to have greater significance.

My mind thinks "just thicken the base", but I'm not sure if that is correct

*sigh* There is nothing certain I can assert because what was truly happening is that my mind discovered how to use symbolism to make a crown. They can be made from any form of symbolism you can think of.

I didn't make some crowns that would be worthy of a monarch. Some of them are subsidiary crowns.

...And particularly for what I thought for logic, when I made a pyramid shape, that is similar to a dunce cap. ...The crown of stupidity.

Pardon this, but my mind realized that if I tried to get psychological help, the only thing that will be done is that all my sentiments that everything is wrong will only be reflected back at me.

...But I'm not focused on that, I'm still focused on my silly crown designs.

...The autism is really bad about taking things literally.

...And now, it's confusing even me.

If I've really known that another system exists and I thought it was better...

Well, I said I didn't know how to express it.

...But my mind is still overwhelmed with the matter I think I was told to just pretend to be a little boy! 😀

I think I misinterpreted something with that, though.

...But I've felt that should've meant I should've been conservative. They're ALL about that.

...I don't understand why I'm not.

I should've understood how this country works, and I don't understand why I didn't.

...I've called it the gift of being a natural born leader.

But I don't understand how something like that can really exist. It sounds like it should be a myth.

...Except for the idea of a mind that is naturally geared for the order center.

...But it may have something to do with how the stress can be ignored if it's present.

...That feels like a superpower, though. You can keep going regardless of anything.

Survival powers that are greater than normal.

...I say that's because I have emotions that are more intense than normal.

...and that's something other than stress, too.

I can't say why I have a greater interest in things than people would normally.

...I wish I could give people the time I have.

...Time that I only have because I thought my stuff was more important than anyone else's.

...so no one knows what to do with me. I refuse to do anything else.

...OH DEAR!

That's right now overwhelming me with all the things that have bothered me before and I didn't deal with it.

There are so many things that I don't really want to do, and yet I never realize it.

I need to clear my mind again. Just stop doing everything.

...Only for it to come back at another point.

...And I've seen that is probably not wise. Instead of dealing with the stress at the time, it emerges randomly at another time.

I think there is a secret inside of autism there.

This is not a normal stress response. I don't know what causes it.

...Hmmm...to me, it is NOT stressful?

...Although I've also experienced the phenomenon where autistic people can apparently ignore the stress.

...Especially since I think a normal fear response is to avoid it altogether.

...Why is it that when I see a challenge, I do not try to avoid it?

...Or at least certain kinds of challenges.

OH DEAR!

WHY DOES THE AUTISM LOVE PUZZLES SOOOO MUCH!

I love to figure things out?

*sigh* But the mindset has become too complicated for me to understand what about it causes that.

...I should've just figured out that I need to work regardless of what I think.

Why did my mind never understand that?

...It thinks video games are it's "work"

...But I may never really understand why I thought that.

...I see video games as a puzzle to be solved.

*sigh* But I also don't think I can properly call myself a man because I also didn't get that I should've just went to work and forgotten about everything.

I wouldn't BE bored if I just had something to do.

I wouldn't be questioning things if I wasn't bored.

...I hug myself and tell myself I'm a good man.

...Am I a good man, though? I apparently stand against everything that has been fundamental to this nation for ages.

...But I also don't think I should, because I should know better.

...Or maybe you can't think that because you don't know an alternative to exist.

...But I'm incredulous on the matter if I've always known something, but I couldn't say it because my mind didn't know how to express it.

Hmm...but the "reality" they want me to believe in is the same reality a lot of people hate right now

...*sigh* I've just said that everyone knows to hate it. They just learned to live with it

...Oh dear. And part of my mind asks why you "just live" with a world you KNOW isn't working properly?

...I've had that problem for a long time, though.

All it wants to be is a little boy.

...And it's all because of a story I don't know to be real.

...But I also said that part of the story tells me that none of it is real.