Legs

a poster for wuthering heights shows a man riding a horse on a hill ALT: a poster for wuthering heights shows a man riding a horse on a hill

Is anyone protecting Jacob from the perimenopausal women? I am not sure any of us can hold back.

Manchester

This pizza house is for very well spoken people

I love him

I want to eat a lot of cake

“How far did you get” I asked

“Oh, the blokes at the table next to us spiked our drink and kidnapped Ted into the child sex trade”.

Oh. Chicken is still hot though so everything is ok.

I had already got beyond this level as she’d recited the worry, and he’d lost the use of one side of his body.

Then the pager rang to tell her Ted’s lunch was ready,while I was away from our table. When I got back she was in a right tiz, not knowing what to do as she couldn’t leave the boy.

My brother used Mr Sheen to polish some shoes and it made the floor very slippery, she went to bed knowing it was slippery and he was going to come home drunk. “How far did you get”, I asked.

“He cracked his head open and I came downstairs to him motionless in a pool of blood”.

Not bad I said.

My sister and law and I were playing “spiralling” on the weekend. To play, all you have to do, is recite something very small that nearly happened that caused you a moments worry, and how far down the spiral you got.

Maybe he is like Churchill then because he said no no no no no no no to using our bases for an illegal war, and then yes, to using them for defence.

#jesuischurchill

I’m not sure Trump is human.

I am not Churchill. Not the man, not the dog, not the car insurance firm.

I don’t imagine “not being Churchill” is really bothering anyone much. It’s a pretty crap jibe.

What do you call a boom that didn’t boom? A muffler?

Just nipped for a walk around the garden to look at shoots on plants, like some kind of boomer.

He recognises the beeps when I turn it on and stands and waits for it to start now

This is normal, isn’t it?

They must have been very terrified because they were still eating their food outside and everything

I saw a woman who had returned from Dubai being interviewed. She said that black ash fell onto her breakfast on Sunday morning.

What the fuck is this?

It all went wrong when OJ absconded in that bronco and the news became permanently on.

WOT?

Has anyone notice that it’s been a long time since we’ve had a bald Prime Minister? Why do their consistent strong hairlines make me suspicious?

All weekend he just wanted Dave to sit by him. He didn’t notice when Dave came to sit by him.

This pizza house is for very well spoken people

Imagine if they’d cut to a barbershop quartet at the end of the announcement of war in downton.

Wondering if bbc news is going to flick from people sheltering in bomb shelters to Saturday kitchen intro music

It seems to be a reaction to Eric entering the room