𝅨𝅨 𝕵𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐑 ｡

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@whimsflower.bsky.social 💕

and maybe she would leave him after this . maybe this was temporary . maybe it was a mistake she would regret by morning .

but right now … she was here . with him . letting him kiss her like this , touch her like this — love her like this . )

her moan — that soft , beautiful sound — sent a shiver down his spine . it lit something in him he hadn’t let himself feel in years . want . but not just want . worship .

worship her ... beautiful natal— magaretha .
she could have had anyone .

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that lingering fear never quite left him , even now , tangled in her arms , drunk on the taste of her .

... but even so , if she was just using him tonight , at the end ... it doesn't matter to him . he wants this , just this once . let him be a fool once more .

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his tongue slipped past her lips , timid but yearning , dancing with hers in slow , aching circles .

he kissed her like she was sacred , like he might never get another chance . because he still half-expected her to change her mind . to regret . to leave .

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pressing again — slowly , deeply , until the taste of her overwhelmed everything else . gods , how long had he ached for this ? that question didn’t even need answering . it had always been her . always .
a soft , tentative flick of his tongue brushed against her bottom lip .

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the need in her touch . she didn’t even push him away . she pulled him in ...

his lips moved with hers , slowly at first , but growing bolder with each pass . every breath she gave him , he returned with more — lips gliding , parting ,

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( her sighs were like gravity — pulling him closer , deeper . each breath , each brush of her lips , undid him .

her hand at the back of his neck , her fingers threading through his hair — gods . it nearly buckled him . he leaned into it , chasing the warmth , the comfort

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gods , he was a lost cause . he was helpless . there was no way of saving him . not anymore . his heart belonged to no one ... no one , but her alone . )

he kissed her back — shy at first , uncertain , but growing steadier with each beat of his heart hammering against hers . he poured everything into it : the aching nights , the silent longing ...

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while the other curled around her waist , fingertips trembling at her side .

he would guide her , urging her onto her back with barely a careful push — just the suggestion of motion , his body leading hers . his chest hovered just above hers .

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when she pulled him closer , that was when he moved ... it was like the final push for him .

carefully , he began to shift — still kissing her , lips brushing hers in short , reverent pulses — as he slowly sat up . one hand braced against the mattress beside her , steadying himself ,

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it was a good thing they were lying in bed , otherwise his knees would have given out .

her lips were still so soft . so sweet ...
so incredibly addicting . how he missed this feeling , this taste .

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despite the memories that whispered otherwise . but the second kiss...

when her lips caught his — trapped his lower lip with a delicate , deliberate pull — he gasped .

a soft , helpless sound left his throat , part wonder , part need .

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they hovered for a moment in the air , tense , lost , too afraid to touch her without permission . his fingers twitched as if they were moving through some invisible barrier between fantasy and reality .

how awkward , how unsure he felt — like it was the first time —

his breath hitched . his eyes went wide . his entire face flushed red , as if someone had lit a match beneath his skin . boiling . his ears , his cheeks , even the tip of his nose turned scarlet .

oh god — his hands . what was he supposed to do with them ?

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he could barely hold her gaze with her so near , and yet he couldn’t tear himself away .

then—

her lips touched his .

barely there . just a whisper of contact — and yet his whole body froze , like he’d stepped off the edge of something immeasurable .

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( her forehead pressed to his and his world tilted .

the warmth of her skin , the brush of her breath— too close , too real , too much . it short-circuited something in him , like a fragile wire snapping under pressure .

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i could ... i could never ... i could never hold a grudge against you , y-you ... you had your reasons after all ...
i ... i'm sorry , i ...

( what is he supposed to say when he was not deserving of her apology ... ? )

just like how beautiful her kindness was to him . if it was all a lie , he ...

he was struggling with that but ... )

i'd ... i'd never ...
you are never cruel , natalie ... y-you never were , not in my eyes , i ....

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where he had to see her wounds , the damage that has been done to her . when had he ever fallen for her ? the most significant moment to him was ... when she had given him this flower . a beautiful , little thing ... just like her ....

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only to falter , to crumble into silence . he swallowed it back down .

was she using him ? maybe . maybe she just needed warmth tonight . maybe he was a fool for letting himself hope for more ...
like before , like ... back then ... when they were still at that horrible place .

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n-no … no , no , please—
you’re not— it’s not like that . i… i like it—

i mean— i don't— i ... i ...

( he stopped .

god . he sounded so pathetic .

the realization shut him up instantly . his mouth hung open with another word forming —

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his eyes searched hers , wide , uncertain.

but then — her voice ...

so soft . apologetic .

and it struck him — like a knife to the gut .

he blinked , stunned , as if the words took a moment to land . then his face twisted — not in anger , never — but something more wounded ... )

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( the moment her hand rose to his face , gently guiding him to look at her , his heart lurched . for a split second , he panicked — had he gone too far ? his breath hitched , and he froze , pulling back just an inch , as if afraid to cause her discomfort .

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thumb grazing just below her ear . as long as she was not objecting against this — maybe he should just ... let his thoughts and concerns go , just once more . )

and he would be lying if he said it didn't hurt . but he was willing to bear it ... for her .

if she ... would still regret it after this ? ...

... and he'd lean in , his lips brushed her jaw , ghost-light , his hand moved slowly , cupping the side of her neck ,

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that he was more than just simple comfort to her .

back then , she had pulled away . not from lack of want—but because she had to . because she was someone else's ... this cursed man . he would watch her leave his tent in silence and . no word being shared about this anymore .

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and how it had ended before it began .

has she ... thought about him the way he always did ? had she missed him just as much ? a part of him knew that this wasn't anything that had occupied her mind at all , but a desperate part of him wanted to believe she did ...

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