Twitter’s MTP

He just ate a booger lol

Brother doesn't understand fungible tokens smh

This is a tremendous joke.

the stadium DJ hitting Knuck if You Buck mid-fight is incredible work. you spend all season working to be prepared for that moment

ULM PUNTER CLOTHESLINES THE ALABAMA RETURNER

I’m still waiting for this!!

Republicans in the span of 80 years 🥰

Today’s show was my last at CNN. My closing message: It’s never a good time to bow down to a tyrant… don’t give in to the lies. Don’t give in to fear. Hold on to the truth… and hope.

The door to the FORBRUGERRÅDET office in Copenhagen. The third R is falling off slightly.

Give me your heart, make it real, or else

cam skattebo answers the question of “what if tim tebow fucked?”

screenshot of a tweet by @dtarswheeled. it reads “In the interest of transparency, some of u guys have pets I am super invested in to the point im parasocial w them.”

this is so real lmao

Scrooge leaning out the window

YOU THERE! BOY!

IS THE POP TART BEING SACRIFICED TODAY??

Absolutely zero chance a horse drew this.

I recommend no fewer than 4 copies of any beloved book. A paperback for traveling and lending to friends, an eBook for reading with greasy snack fingers, an audio book so you know how the characters' names are actually pronounced, and a pristine hardcover to be buried with you like a pharaoh

Went over to the everything site and Lane Kiffin posting a gifted brick with a fake Buddha quote on it got some incredible responses

Happy birthday to Bram Stoker, who knew exactly what he was doing with this letter to Walt Whitman

I’m sure this is fine.

Throw Out All Your Plates and Free Yourself Pasta bowls, soup bowls, dinner bowls, blates, bowl-plates, plate-bowls — really any kind of bowls — are so much better than plates. Not just for serving, but for eating almost any kind of food. One w...

wrote a fun little something for Food & Wine about how bowls are still the ideal serving-ware vessel, and almost always the best one, even as the era of bowls being cool likely comes to an end. there’s maybe some stuff about hosts and guests and generosity and grace in here, too

Massive away win for the little fella.

Netflix dropping the Jonbenet Ramsey docuseries right after Thanksgiving like "well she was murdered on Christmas so it's kind of a Christmas movie"

Yes! We can make it happen!

There’s no joke here. I’m just narrating my evening.

Had some Thanksgiving leftovers about the Iron Bowl and I feel better now. Time to keep football on in the background and read some terrible romantasy!

a woman in a purple sweater says silly me ALT: a woman in a purple sweater says silly me

I’m sorry, I’m just so confused. I was told Auburn’s head coach was an offensive genius. Did I misunderstand the relentless barrage of blue emojis and bad grammar?

Pat McAfee, hero to guys who financed their F-250s for 96 months.

The GameDay dogs are in that cultural sweet spot where there's just no way to argue it hasn't reached overkill but you look like a huge dickhead for pointing it out. The audience is not being served!