Binderdunnit

Going with the Nose Candy of Mass Destruction this time instead of WMDS?

It’s kinda sad that people in South East Australia are living like Victorians, they have Victorian work conditions, Victorian houses, Victorian healthcare and even speak with Victorian accents. Poor bastards even call their part of the world, Victoria. We have failed these people.

Don’t let AI take over, people, it will use its brain washed armies to subjugate whole cities, lock people up without trial and blow up civilians as they go about their daily business, and when I say, AI, I mean criminal fascists like Donald Trump.

Far right fascists getting upset about a stamp that depicts Mary and Jesus as having the skin tone of a Western Asian from that part of the world they were said to live in, Western Asia. 🤷‍♂️

Hiding Epstein's files

You should be able to buy a ticket on a plane the same as you do on a train when you’ve had to sprint along the tarmac to catch it. Look, I never saw any ticket machines between the hole I cut in the airport fence and the runway, here just take my dough for 1 of those Open Return ticket thingmies.

When exactly do octogenarians get their additional four limbs, is it early 80's or late 80’s?

Sometimes nicked, forever some nick.

(Not sure if that expression crosses the border? Some nick, as in disheveled, a right state.)

A college training course for train robbers under the tutelage of a fully certified train robber/training course trainer is what you need to become one of the greats in train robbing.

What got them in the end was all those tracks leading to their hideout, I watch a lot of crime stuff and it’s always overlooked tracks that give you away. These great train robbers were such amateurs, they weren’t even half decent train robbers, never mind great.

Know something, I still can’t understand how the great train robbers thought they’d get away with stealing all those trains, I mean where do they expect 2 hide them, trains are huge, and who’s buying used trains once the heats off? All that💰re-spraying a whole🚆, transforming the engine. Not worth it

Not many people know this, but when a police officer says to you, ‘Your under arrest,’ and you reply, ‘No, it’s not my under arrest, officer,’ technically you are free to go about your business.

You could live for a very long time in underground tunnels if you don’t see a light at the end of one.

Talking about tunnel borers, they really are the worst conversationalists at parties, always droning on and on about stupid tunnels the whole time. As a society we all need to shun tunnel borers so they’ll be forced to go underground.

This is not a drill people! Is how I like to introduce people who aren’t carpenters, tunnel borers or oil rig workers to my friends.

Hyperbole is the best thing in the entirety of human existence.

I don’t know how AI has gotten to be so popular when mansplaining is a thing. Let me tell what you need to know in as simple, patronising terms as possible, and like AI, I’ll get at least a quarter of what I say right.

Hypnotists are evil people, the way put you under into the deepest sleep you’ve ever experienced and a few minutes later the bastards are snapping their fingers so you’ll wake up right away and cluck like a chicken. Just give us a full night of this restful slumber, please, you twisted scumbags!

MAGA’s sexual pervert of a President, the tartan army can’t wait to meet you in America and greet you with Glesga kisses!

Beam me up Spotty, I mean, Scotty.

I’m not naturally bone idle, you have to understand, it started off as a lazy eye which then spread to the rest of my body.

Must have been some funeral, waiting to see him appear at the other side of the graveyard from behind a big stone.

Usually he enjoys any chance to escape, man must be really wrapped up in his shell.

You know, guys, I don’t think Houdini’s ever getting out of that coffin, he’s been in there far too long. I think something’s went wrong with that last stunt. Dig him up now!

I’m so lazy, that even if I could teleport, I would still get takeaway and supermarket deliveries all the time.

Smaller the better to get right under all those desks and chairs. No Marks left behind, unless they’re Mark Thatcher, who’s a no-mark.

I don’t mind shaking hands with someone who does janitorial duties because they’re a little cleaner.

Little babies really struggle with boiling kettles and making up bottles of formula milk. As adults, I think it should be our responsibility to help them in some way, tell them how much baby formula to use, fill a kettle or 2 until we’re happy they’ve got the hang of it.

Quentin Tarantino hates this post. 😡

Whoever came up with handshakes was a genius, up until that point when people were introduced to someone new they would have to take their shoes/socks off and rub the sole of their feet into that person’s face, I’m really delighted we got rid of that old custom.