And my orthodontist from high school I love this for me!!! Be gone, tooth wench!!!

I can't relate to "new phone, who dis?" because I just deleted the contact for my pediatric endocrinologist's office

Non binary friendships are just calling each other "my liege" and "my squire" in lieu of gendered terms

i am a simple girl: i feel myself getting irrationally angry about tiny things. I get up. I get my SSRI from the kitchen. it fixes the problem it is designed to fix, and I say "wow, a miracle of modern science"

Teddy bear ludo my beloved

if i think too much about the big problems in the world right now I'll throw up, so instead I will complain about the ugly tan carpet that's in every single apartment I look at

I’m gonna have a cute little iced coffee in a jar tomorrow morning 😌

I am both clapping AND cheering!!

Current vibe

Nothing highlights the fact that you drive a car that's pushing a decade old like driving the same car from this model year

Sometimes you look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself "baby needs snack.... I give baby snack of fried rice"

i love when my friends see to see all my g-cals and how they interact; my autistic spirit and virgo rising need order

Me watching Saw video essays :)

I forget often that my dad and I have the same zodiac sign until he says some Aquarian shit like "doesn't it suck when you mess something up and then get compliments about it?"

All I'm taking away from this is "gummy sharks"

The weird little kiosks in malls have them sometimes

I miss bread

Sometimes I just drunk text my former leaders like we are besties and that's valid of me I think

KEEP THE LID ON THIS PLACE 2025

there's a southern adage that "the uglier you go to bed, the prettier you wake up" and I take umbrage with that because I wake up pretty every morning and have never been ugly a day in my life

Just The Zoo Of Us did an episode on an animal I recommended and I am so elated to listen to it 🪼

I tried to watch Cutthroat Kitchen the other day, but I realized immediately that my brain had autofilled Sam Reich in for Alton Brown.

nobody is immune to propaganda, but it does help if you can develop a moral framework independent of a book you read when you were twelve

Did you hear Alfredo Linguine just yell "little chef"? No you didn't, that was just me

I think the biggest thing I've learned being in HR and management is how little folks will read and comprehend from the messages you send out

My body is a machine that is fueled exclusively by Coca Cola and peanut butter toast

With what suitcase room, bestie? You gonna pack a good winter coat???

I'm genuinely curious when Frozen became popular enough that a single, over the shoulder side braid became an "Elsa braid" instead of a "Katniss braid". When was the culture shift?

Going to Dutch Bros is wild because some gay little hipster 20-something will say "yeah, I'd definitely recommend a slutty caterpillar blended rebel" and an equally gay 20-something will say "yeah, sounds great"