Stone

This is the look

Day 2 of the wife being out of town for work.
The dog now suspects foul play.

A Trump supporter called me an asshole at the No Kings rally today.
To which I joyously replied, “Sir, I am God’s greatest ASSHOLE, and THIS is the single purpose I was placed on earth for!” 😎

Oh, the night is young? The night is ancient, dark, and merciless, but sure order another round, Tyler

The stuff I post isn’t factual like Gravity or The Earth Is Round are “factual”.
They’re factual like the Violent Left and the Tooth Fairy are “factual”.

“prove me wrong” no i will not be participating in that. you made a bullshit claim and i will be going about my day in reality

MAGA proving there’s already too many damn crackers in that barrel.

French Bulldog in a pair of green briefs, butt in front of the camera.

OH MY GOD BECKY

The long, dark, Where’s Waldo of the American Soul.

Never / Was
The only “supes” to get second billing on his own show.
I hope you still send Teri Hatcher a gift basket every time someone mentions your name.

If you see a faded sign
by the side of the road
that says 15 miles to the

WIFE: for Halloween we should go as the Coldplay Kiss-Cam Couple.

ME: babe, you don’t have to wait for a holiday to be ashamed of being seen with me.

Still a 🚩

Watching my cousin’s kids this week, they’re 7 and 11.

Do kids smoke menthols or unfiltered these days?

“NOW IS THE TIME FOR PEACE!”
Posts madman that just bombed the living shit out of Iran from a golf course to kick off summer ☀️💣💥☮️

Chuck Schumer’s response is going to be SO STRONGLY WORDED

Liberate from who??
You’re the one invading!

Trump’s unhinged post about Biden being a robot.

WHAT?
That’s the type of crazy talk you would only expect from someone who had been replaced by a damn robot!

Wait…

You want all the smoke? You bout to catch this conclave, son.

[to the tune of 𝘐 𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘧]

🎵 I paid the tariff
But I couldn’t buy necessities.
Oh my oh

🎵 I paid the tariff
But I did not find no breakfast tea.
Oh no oh

🎵 I paid the tariff
But I could not score no celery.
Ooh, ooh, ooh

🎵 I paid the tariff
But the prices nearly buried me.
Oh my oh

HEY!! That’s going too far!
You don’t need to waste those bullets.

And Kayne is #1 with a bullet

I didn’t know jettisoning pop stars into space was an option.

We need to start a list.

It’s fine it’s… not Ok. No no nonono Not OKAY

Wait… Pedro is the same age as me??

I feel a lot less perfect now.

Gotta get me some Pedro-pods.

Cause I’m perfect.
And I want some of whatever that is he’s on.

Make Good Trouble.
Hope you had an eventful weekend, bsky.

It takes a village to raise a gallows.