Fake Eurovision News

EXCLUSIVE: A*Teens reveal if they make it to Eurovision they will change their name to A*Oldies. "Seems more accurate" Dhani told us. #Eurovision

BREAKING: Bambie Thug says they're delighted Ireland is out of Eurovision 2026. "At least we don't have to sit through that Late Late Show utter shite" they told us exclusively. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: Eurovision supremo Martin Green reveals why there was no vote on Israel participation. "We were going to but the tea lady came into the room and we totally forgot about it" he told us exclusively. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: EBU set to hold a vote on whether to definitely have a vote on Israel's Eurovision participation. "And we may have a vote on whether we should have that vote too" an insider told us. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: Zoë Më says she's totally over her zero televote. Her new single 'The Public Are Wankers' is out on September 12th. #Eurovision

BREAKING: Remember Monday have totally forgotten what day of the week it is. "After all that Eurovision nonsense, we're all over the place!" they trilled. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: Christer Björkman reveals the thinking behind the Grand Final running order. "Mainly to help Sweden win again, and to totally fuck over Luxembourg" he told us. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: Ncuti Gatwa pulled out of being the UK jury spokesperson because he was so angry that Red Sebastian didn't qualify. "He's absolutely fuming" a source told us. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: Celine Dion is refusing to perform at Eurovision 2025 unless she can duet with Scott Fitzgerald. "She's insisting, but Scott isn't keen" an insider told us. #Eurovision

REVEALED: Jon Ola Sand says he's looking forward to Eurovision 2025. "I hope Österdahl gets booed again!" he chuckled. #Eurovision

REVEALED: Belgium's Red Sebastian doesn't even like strobe lights or indeed clubbing. "I'd rather be at home with a good book" he told us. #Eurovision

BREAKING: Marco Mengoni elected as new Pope, succeeding Francis. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: The staging for Louane's entry will feature pictures of famous Mothers including Mother Teresa and Old Mother Hubbard. #Eurovision

BREAKING: Mary Berry will reveal the UK jury points at Eurovision 2025 as a tribute to ex-husband Colin Berry. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: Australia's Go-Jo reveals that his favourite milkshake flavour is anchovy and sweetcorn. "It's gorgeous!" he told us. #Eurovision

REVEALED: UK act Remember Monday will do something not seen on a Eurovision stage by a UK act since 2022. "They'll sing in tune" a BBC insider told us. #Eurovision

BREAKING: ZiBBZ confirmed as main interval act for Eurovision 2025. "We're thrilled to get them" organisers told us. #Eurovision

REVEALED: Croatia's Marko Bošnjak says he's never actually had a 'Poison Cake'. "I'd prefer a lemon drizzle any day" he told us exclusively. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: Norway's Kyle Alessandro reveals the meaning of his song 'Lighter'. "It's about when I wanted a cigarette but didn't have a lighter so I had to ask someone for one" he told us. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: Flo Rida says he's been calling Senhit every week since Eurovision 2021. "She never returns my calls! I just want to make another 'Adrenalina'!" he told us. #Eurovision

BREAKING: Loreen reveals she didn't think much of 'Revolution'. "It was like a shit version of 'Heroes', with bits of paper chucked around. No wonder it lost!" she told us exclusively. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: The UK song from Remember Monday at Eurovision 2025 is called 'Serving Count(ry)'. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: Erika Vikman rejects criticism that her song 'Ich Komme' is too sexual. "It's actually about the Maastricht Treaty" she told us. #Eurovision

BREAKING: Ireland expected to run out of tinfoil stocks following EMMY's Eurosong victory. #Eurovision

BREAKING: Strong rumours that the UK will send a girl band for Eurovision 2025. The group consists of Bonnie Tyler, SuRie and the woman out of Electro Velvet, according to a source. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: Bobbysocks are back in MGP after 40 years, with brand new track 'Suck You Off'. #Eurovision

BREAKING: NeonoeN reveal they're gutted to not be Montenegro's 2025 entry. "We were so looking forward to coming 16th in semi final 2!" they told us. #Eurovision

BREAKING: Eric Saade to release new single 'Butter Between My Buttocks' on December 13th. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: Latvia's Markus Riva says if he doesn't make it to Eurovision this year, he's going to retire from music. "I'll be 54 next year, so I'm getting too old for this" he told us. #Eurovision

EXCLUSIVE: Loreen reveals she doesn't even like tattoos. "Only twats get them" she told us. #Eurovision