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i just want to be human， but the way i am， i'm nothing but a monster ...

i was turning numb. what happened to me didn't seem to matter. sometimes i felt angry， but most of the time i felt nothing; i'd never felt so much nothing before.

no home anymore. nowhere to return. my house is a ruin， a cemetery.

as long as i'm here， you're invincible!

while i can't have you， i long for you. i would miss a train to meet you for coffee. i'd take a taxi across town to see you for ten minutes. i'd wait outside all night if i thought you would open the door in the morning.

please think twice before loving me. i will be cruel and distant. i promise， i can be kind and tender. it takes time， please wait for me.

when will i stop belonging to this hungry thing inside me?

this time， i want you， like it's magnetic.

i feel the familiar pull———i am drawn， icarus to his sun. i have been burned already， and yet here i am again.

the strong can be categorized as such: those who perish in battle， and those who live to protect. i am of the former. you， on the other hand， are of the latter.

i'm not going to be loved in this lifetime， am i?

there are no bargains between lion and men. i will kill you and eat you raw.

i want to hold you tight. i want to feel your love physically. i want to sleep with you， but only in the literal sense.

i don't need to hold myself back anymore. i'm giving all of myself to you. and i'm taking all of you for myself，too.

my sadness is not a cut for you to bandage and it is not a bruise for you to kiss. i am not waiting for you to save me， i am hoping you will love me while i rescue myself.

it isn't hate. i cannot move forward until i tear you apart.

the days spent with you are burned into my memory.

don't lie to me， don't lie to me， don't lie to me， ᛤ i can't bear it anymore.

it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， it hurts， ——why can’t i dіe?

i am tired of explaining the fire. it burns because it must.

who's the real you? the person who did something awful， or the one who's horrified by the awful thing you did? is one part of you allowed to forgive the other?

i'll adore you， as a drowned person does the sea.

i cared for others all my life. and still i was wrong.

if the moon smiled， she would resemble you. you leave the same impression of something beautiful， but annihilating.

all of a sudden you disappeared， like a faint ghost disappeared ᛤ i sometimes ask into the void， what am i to you?

i did not mean to become like this: a monster， a leviathan. a killer， a weapon of war. but i know nothing of peace， and what solace can i seek if not in blood?

terrified again of not loving ᛤ of loving and not you ᛤ of being loved and not by you.

would a boy like you like a boy like me? would a girl like you like a girl like me? could someone like you like someone like me? would a boy like you like a girl like me?

you will never let go， you will never be satiated. you will be damaged and scarred， you will continue to hunger.

i will not water myself down to make me more digestible for you. you can choke.