Torberg M. Tonnessen

They not lying. And best believe I spammed them buttons 😂

If you couldn't be bothered to write it, why in the name of all things holy, unholy, and mundane should I take the time to read it?

YouTube video by Jackie Kashian Jackie Kashian - Alter-Kashian [2026] | FULL COMEDY SPECIAL

dear everyone i know - especially comics that like me and happen to be far more successful - please repost and gush about my new special and album youtu.be/v5kJlI41V2g?...

Danger zone Disable all All notifications for your subscriptions are off. Delete all notes Delete notes Permanently delete your notes and restacks. Delete your account Delete account Permanently delete your account and information

At the bottom of the Substack settings page, under "Danger Zone," you can turn off all subscriptions at once.

Apologies to all my friends on Substack. I'd gritted my teeth and supported you because I love your work. But Substack's partnership with Polymarket is the last straw for me.

Recently I submitted a PTO request.

My boss: You get three days for Bereavement. Would you like to use that instead?

Me: Oh, right! "Bereavement Leave" is a thing! Yes, thank you.

T'Pring, backed by Stonn, seems to wish a bitch would.

Or maybe "Bitch Time."

T'Pring's expression exudes "bitch, please."

Take a Star Trek episode and replace one word in the title with "bitch" (or "bitches").

"Spock's Bitch"

I recall you worrying earlier this week about not being able to go. Glad to read you made it! 🎉

This sounds unlikely, but apparently works for (fumbles around in the psychiatric vocabulary dep’t) …weird brain reasons. (…That’ll have to do until I can dig up the citation from the Lancet…) 😅

If you have the prerequisite knowledge to know that something is correct, you don't need the machine, and if you do not, it can never help you because you can't check it.

That's the problem.

I mean we've been in a five alarm constitutional crisis since Jan 20 2025. But yeah, this will add to it.

FFS.

Stockdale - a Navy A-4 pilot - studied the Stoics at Stanford. He was later shot down and held for 7 years in North Vietnam. He credited his studies with helping him survive.

He received the Medal of Honor in 1976.

If all you know of him is from later life, look again

And honestly if we had a lounge, we wouldn't be using it to disparage students of any kind. We'd be napping and/or grading

Another bold, principled step toward lethality from Hegseth, who holds a BA from Princeton and a Masters in Public Policy from Harvard

Also, Jim Stockdale would like a word.

Look it up.

I’ll wait.

I regret to inform you that the Secretary of Defense is an idiot

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

Hmm, realizing I should probably pick up a Blu-Ray drive for my PC while one still can.

oh man i risk being the biggest bluesky stereotype but

ALT TEXT IS FOR ACCESSIBILITY. if you want to also include humour, sure (i do). but if the alt doesn’t actually describe what is in the image you are defeating the point

To any Democrat who ever said about any issue, "Maybe if we agree with Republicans just this far, they'll stop there," remember that you were wrong, it was obvious at the time, and you really should never believe that again about any issue, ever.

Seriously. When I threw snowballs at NYPD in Central Park, I definitely got chased and lived to regret my youthful decisionmaking, but I don't remember them whining about it.

My students were googling “Gwyn ap Nudd” and google (or its AI) tried to be HELPFUL and gave them results for “Gwen all nude” and anyway, ONCE AGAIN CLASS HAS GONE AWRY

RIP

Quick selfie of me, a middle-aged white guy. I'm wearing a green sweatshirt and blue-framed glasses. My facial hair is greying, but the rest of my hair is dark brown and spilling onto my shoulders.

To wit:

My hair still takes after my father's side of the family, not my mother's, so I guess there are exceptions to that expectation.

As in played on screen by Lolita Davidovich opposite Paul Newman?

Translation: Gordon Brown is apocalyptically furious that as he was trying to do a good job, which he was clearly far better able to do than his opponents, Mandelson & Andrew were both actively trying to screw him over for the benefit of their rich pedo pal, & yes he will happily see them both burn

My kids school was closed for three weeks to repair a burst sprinkler pipe. They were out for the previous snow, back for a day, then back to virtual for a few more weeks. They've only had two days back and my kid will plotz if they go back to virtual again.

GUEST ALERT! Comedians Larry Wilmore & Jordan Carlos join the panel TONIGHT on an all new episode of #HIGNFY at 9pm on CNN and streaming next day on the CNN app.

When being royal and having hereditary power comes with more checks and balances than an elected democracy….

The TARIFFS cover image for Civix Comix

Here's our free comics explainer on what tariffs used to be compared to what they are in the Trump Administration, which is basically "whatever he feels like i dunno give him a bribe" in zine form.

www.patreon.com/posts/civix-...