Tristan A. Smith wherestrist

I had a dream earlier that I was suddenly VERY bald. That nightmare was so real it genuinely altered the course of my day afterward.

#ConfessionalMondays

03.03.2026 03:55 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Blacked out saying the n-word to a room of older White people this weekend. So, in some ways, I feel like I got my lick back for the BAFTAs.

#ConfessionalMondays

24.02.2026 02:13 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

How I tried to be cool in school.

Where to watch my jokes in person:

02/21 | 08:00 pm | Tessarae Studios
Fundraiser | Tessarae Studios
02/26 | 3:00 pm | TBD
03/05 | 10:00pm | Chaos Cabaret | My Buddy’s

21.02.2026 22:18 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

It’s the season of love.

Where to see me:

02/20 | 07:30 pm | Nourishing Hope
Fundraiser | Koval
02/21 | 08:00 pm | Tessarae Studios
Fundraiser | Tessarae Studios
02/26 | 3:00 pm | TBD

20.02.2026 14:53 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

AHAC (All Horses Are Cops)

Future shows:

02/20 | 07:30 pm | Nourishing Hope Fundraiser | Koval
02/21 | 08:00 pm | Tessarae Studios Fundraiser | Tessarae Studios
02/26 | 3:00 pm | TBD

19.02.2026 19:29 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Cambodia: Growing humanitarian crisis as escaped scamming compound survivors tell of murder, rape and torture Thousands of people who recently escaped or were released from scamming compounds in Cambodia where they were subjected to grave abuses including rape and torture are now stranded and in urgent need o...

I didn’t know this, so I figured I’d share. Sometimes the people who send those scam messages are victims themselves: www.amnesty.org/en/latest/ne...

19.02.2026 11:09 — 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

Some days I spend so tensed up thinking I’m ABOUT to do something and then I end up tired, yet having done nothing.

#ConfessionalMondays

17.02.2026 04:43 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

13.02.2026 22:34 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

After seeing more of those e-mails, the billionaire taking blood from his son seems almost tame by comparison.

11.02.2026 15:18 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Getting sick when I haven’t gone anywhere feels like my body just caught a cold because it’s looking for something to do.

#ConfessionalMondays

10.02.2026 04:08 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

06.02.2026 21:23 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I don’t think of myself as anxious but while playing a video game where I routinely kill monsters, I got nervous at the part where the main character had to ask his friend out.

#ConfessionalMondays

03.02.2026 04:12 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Happy Black History Month!!!

01.02.2026 22:58 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Melania getting third place at the box office kinda proves they rigged the election.

01.02.2026 22:17 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

I was hanging out with some friends and they made fun of a guy who ate food by putting a plate to his lips and shoveling it in with a fork and I had to act like I don't do that when I'm alone.

#ConfessionalMondays

27.01.2026 03:30 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

It's murder when it happens to us, too.

25.01.2026 21:48 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

A picture of me standing next to Delroy Lindo taken around 20 years ago.

Oscar nominee Delroy Lindo, baby!!!

22.01.2026 18:47 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

20.01.2026 18:34 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Taking care of my feet by adding insoles to my shoes. I straight up forgot to put an insole in my right shoe. Ran errands, exercised, shoveled, all without noticing that I was doing it lopsided.

#ConfessionalMondays

20.01.2026 03:52 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

19.01.2026 17:15 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Been dealing with plumbing issues and had someone look at a broken sump pump. The dude jiggled the cord and suddenly it worked. A year of flooding mostly resolved in about 10 seconds.

#ConfessionalMondays

13.01.2026 02:34 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

11.01.2026 05:03 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

A meme of me doing stand-up comedy. The meme says, “I've been trying to eat better and exercise more.”

A meme of me doing stand-up comedy. The meme says, “A lot of people think I'm doing that to live for a long time.”

A meme of me doing stand-up comedy. The meme says, “Really, I'm just trying to outlive America.”

A meme of me doing stand-up comedy. The meme says, "I just gotta make it ten more months.”

07.01.2026 18:58 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Frustratingly, I was out with someone who didn't use deodorant. I stayed annoyed until I realized I had used deodorant on one armpit and forgotten to put it on the other.

#ConfessionalMondays

06.01.2026 04:09 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

A poster showing my standup comedy shows in the month of January.

This month in shows:

05.01.2026 15:27 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

TI; dr I'm making fun of myself bombing last year, not blaming it on any of the venues or producers. It's that time of year again. My Biggest Showcase Bombs of 2025: 2. Crowd Work Wednesdays (Comedy Bar) - Crowd work isn't my forté. I'm not bad at it, I just don't usually do it for most of a set. And I got annoyed the SECOND my first punchline got interrupted by an audience member. I don't generally care to learn about anyone else while I'm performing. Afterward, I'm happy to talk. Good crowd work is a skill. I've got more to learn. Randomly, this was the most difficult check drop l've ever had to deal with. It's what happens when you go later on a lineup, so I view it as a good problem to have. But I remember seeing the checks hit each table like a wave across the room. It would've been thrilling if it were happening to someone else. I just remember being happy it didn't occur during my closer. All things considered, I did OKAY, but it still belongs on this list.

1. Fresh Faces (Laugh Factory) - It was my first time doing 15 at this club. It was incredibly meaningful and I was happy to have the opportunity. The room was hot. Like, physically. It telt like a furnace. I didn't want my T-shirt to get visibly sweaty on stage, so I decided to wear a sweatshirt over it. That way, I could be hot in secret, I thought. Most of the set went decently. I was getting hotter but I was determined not to wipe my face. Because if I wiped my face, they would see me sweat. Turns out, that logic wasn't sound. My face just got wetter. At the end, I closed on a bit that had been doing well. It's a joke about how men need to start crying in public more. And at the end of the 15 minute set, my face was shining. So much so, in fact, that it looked like I was crying. And suddenly, my lighthearted joke about men getting in touch with their feelings, came off like I was having a mental breakdown. As if I'm dealing with raw emotion as opposed to joking. At a certain point, multiple audience members said, "Aww," instead of laughing. It was a different type of bomb. I've had bombs where it's clear I just had a bad set, where my head wasn't in the right place, or where everything just went wrong. But l'd never had a set where people felt SORRY for me. And, that was my closer. Couldn't get 'em back. I had to get off stage and just stew. I have not done that bit since.

Most of the set went decently. I was getting hotter but I was determined not to wipe my face. Because if I wiped my face, they would see me sweat. Turns out, that logic wasn't sound. My face just got wetter. At the end, I closed on a bit that had been doing well. It's a joke about how men need to start crying in public more. And at the end of the 15 minute set, my face was shining. So much so, in fact, that it looked like I was crying. And suddenly, my lighthearted joke about men getting in touch with their feelings, came off like I was having a mental breakdown. As if I'm dealing with raw emotion as opposed to joking. At a certain point, multiple audience members said, "Aww," instead of laughing. It was a different type of bomb. I've had bombs where it's clear I just had a bad set, where my head wasn't in the right place, or where everything just went wrong. But I'd never had a set where people felt SORRY for me. And, that was my closer. Couldn't get 'em back. I had to get off stage and just stew. I have not done that bit since. Honestly, this list is an improvement over the last few years'. Only two bombs. And one honorable mention (a PowerPoint presentation that didn't work properly) that I didn't go into. As always, this list is not intended to make fun of the shows or the producers, this list is intended to make fun of me. Also, this isn't some sad, painful exercise. It's a fun tradition that I look forward to every year.

My Biggest Showcase Bombs of 2025:

04.01.2026 21:08 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

2025-- The First Full Year of Portland I have a tendency to fly by the seat of my pants. My whole career has gone this way, galavanting from one landing pad to the next logically ...

In my mad dash to write one last piece for 2025 and remember that I have a blog, I reflect a bit on this first full year of living in Portland.

01.01.2026 01:17 — 👍 10 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

30.12.2025 14:53 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I roasted what I thought was a random White person online. I later found out it was my roommate’s sibling. This is the second time in my life something like this has happened.

#ConfessionalMondays

30.12.2025 02:25 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

29.12.2025 23:03 — 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 2

Posts by Tristan A. Smith (@wherestrist.bsky.social)