@dustinevitable.bsky.social
Classically Trained Birdbrain I can run backwards real fast
Sick day. My nurse is asleep on the job. #cats
24.02.2025 21:05 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0[willem dafoe unprompted] now, this cookie monster. [toothy smile] what a creature, what a lust. it consumes him. [crosses legs] he’s really a tragic figure.
13.01.2025 01:15 — 👍 17325 🔁 3872 💬 103 📌 54Them: Find a way to resist by using your own strengths!
Me: How can I bring down morale by predicting the worst possible outcomes?
Why do people serving in table tennis matches always start the serve looking like this?
07.02.2025 04:21 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0If you’ve accidentally seen a Ford commercial you have
06.02.2025 18:08 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0WOW
04.02.2025 03:33 — 👍 14 🔁 3 💬 2 📌 0Dermatologist: Don’t worry, that’s just a scrabulous cranklorn rotterburt dermafibroma, and it’s completely harmless.
But we can lance it off with a scalpel if it makes you feel like a disgusting monster.
Me: Thanks?
60s band name: The Dogs
70s: Sturm Und Dragon
80s: Roger and the Gang
90s: Squee
00s: Disease Kids
10s: Weasel Farm
20s: edward jockey (5 people)
Anyone wanna come over and burst into tears with me this weekend?
01.02.2025 05:11 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Baba No Currency
01.02.2025 05:11 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Cul de sac? In this economy?!
31.01.2025 19:40 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
30.01.2025 22:15 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Apparently I am the only American human who did not eat buttered noodles as a child, also noodle with just butter sounds weird, I like noodles and I like butter but come on you need more than just those two things
30.01.2025 01:14 — 👍 6807 🔁 204 💬 2716 📌 220
This guy has the hardest life
#cats #cat
30.01.2025 04:56 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
While you’re going back in time I have a few favors to ask if you wouldn’t mind 👀
28.01.2025 23:18 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Watching Slow Horses and wondering if any other tv show character has had as much time devoted to describing how badly they stink #slowhorses
28.01.2025 03:14 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Me seeing ads for the American version of Traitors after watching the UK one:
27.01.2025 21:28 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Bad Lieutenant: Porking All New Orleans
27.01.2025 00:41 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Watching 2000’s “Quills”:
Marquis De Sade: How do you suppose I write it? I have neither ink nor paper to pen it!
Madeline: You could whisper it through the walls of your cell
MDS: “For Sale: Maiden’s shoes, never c*mmed on”
Rafe Mafe
25.01.2025 20:44 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Did “trying to sleep” really need a 2025 clickbait rebrand? Can’t wait to learn “8 simple hacks for FOODMAXXING including hot new tips like ‘chewing’”
25.01.2025 04:11 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0And if the Vengabus
Crashes into us
Reese’s feces
23.01.2025 23:31 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
You've just been thrown to your death by the Beatles.
23.01.2025 00:00 — 👍 16420 🔁 2566 💬 331 📌 189Billy Strings? What’s next, Tommy Drums?
23.01.2025 03:00 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
