(Parody) Cambridge Biochemistry

Any financial fallout, Botched or abandoned orders. Delayed experiments. Duplication of effort.
Don’t worry, Kobra here to absorb it, public funding quietly disappear into bureaucratic fog. After all, Patchup is a faithful cog in the dysfunction machine.

Her days are a mix of corridor flattery, inbox chaos, and forgotten tasks.
Deadlines pass. Complaints pile up.
And when confronted?
She laughs. Loudly. Like accountability is a joke.

But the secret to her survival?
She doesn’t manage, she performs.
And she knows exactly who to perform for.

But that eager performance comes at a cost:
⚠️ Support staff are left confused & overburdened
All sacrificed to maintain her image as the perfect servant to the powerful.

And whenever confronted or simply asked about a looming deadline, she dodge it with a loud laughter, as if the question itself is ridiculous. It’s her shield.
That laugh has deflected more responsibility than any official policy.

Plittz's role claims to oversee everything, yet holds responsibility for nothing, nearly every process is tangled in confusion, mismeasurements , or ops I forgot it.
Projects routinely collapse under:
Missed deadlines
Wrong emails
Incomplete logistics
Everything is off, but no one dares question it.

Meet Kareless Plittz, once a Principal Assistant, now elevated to the grand title of Technical & Scientific Operations Manager.

This isn’t just a promotion, it’s a pattern. Under Kobra, titles grow longer as the systems fall apart.

Prestige on paper, dysfunction in practice.

Another loyal subject in Kobra’s kingdom.
Another career built on enabling harm, punishing dissent, and keeping the dirty machine running.

We’re documenting it all.
And we're not done yet.

#CallOutTheBullies

He and the watchdog reportedly mock non-english staff openly in corridors.

He’s been overheard swearing about staff, using homophobic and racist slurs.

This isn’t just incompetence.
It’s a case study in how abusive systems protect themselves.

Meet our next legend of dysfunction:
Szczepan Goodbye, previously a University Security Patroller, now rebranded as Facilities Superintendent.

Only Kobra knows what that means.

Only qualification: unshakable loyalty to Kobra.

One by one. Quiet exits, broken careers, while the enablers climb higher.

#CallTheBulliesOut

Along with them came even more disturbing accounts of how internal procedures didn’t just fail, they actively protected the gang and punished those who dared to speak.

It’s always the same rotten script:

Abuse ➝ Report ➝ Deflect ➝ Blame ➝ Retaliate ➝ Leave.

Huge thanks to everyone in the department who's reached out with support & shared their concerns. Turns out people trust us more than the current Dept admin gang.

On a stronger note: more former members have joined our coalition.

Together, this couple run a department where loyalty trumps competence, and cruelty is policy.

#CallOutTheBullies

Complain? You’re labeled a liar or a trouble maker.
HR? Deaf.
Complaints? Buried.
Many have already been chased out, just for daring to speak up. Zero accountability. Why worry about conduct when your boss is also your bedtime story?

Shaun’s power trip knows no bounds, he’s been seen barging into women’s toilets like he owns the place. No knock, no pause, no shame. In his mind, the department is Kobra’s kingdom, and he’s just making himself at home.

And the best part? If Kobra doesn’t like you for any kind of reason, Shaun lets the taps drip, the lights flicker, and the doors jam. His “maintenance” is as selective as his morality.

His true craft? Harassment, surveillance, and intimidation, all on behalf of Queen Kobra herself.

He times your toilet breaks, questions your whereabouts, patrol across corridors, shouts at lazy staff, and corners domestic team with threatening rants, then report you to Kobra.

Now that we’ve introduced Kobra, who should we call out the next Wet Bandit … Shaun the Chunk-bully, department’s self-appointed enforcer, and our very own Watchdog.

Originally hired for maintenance, but somehow now acts like HR, CCTV, and border patrol rolled into one.

As we unpack the wet bandits,you'll see how it worked, who it hit hardest, and why no one is talking… yet.

Still more on Kobra's Tariffs on incoming funds that drove fellows away, no wonder the department is becoming a ghost town.

This isn’t administration. This is a regime of fear, guilt, and control.

Could the university audits investigate Kobra & Co.’s career advancements and reward point jumps over the past 3 years, they’ll see exactly what we’re talking about.

Many leave her office shattered, humiliated, convinced they owe their survival to her "generosity."

With senior academics? Same strategy. Public praise when useful, reminders that "she's very supportive to their group” as if the funding or space comes from her royal cupboard.

4🔹Promotions? Title changes? Only for those who prove their loyalty & bark hard for it. The rest stay frozen, grateful just to exist.

5🔹When staff request flexible hours, overtime, or reward points, she reportedly snaps:
“You’re lucky to even work, paid more than you deserve.”

3🔹 She dismantles long-established roles, strips useful tasks from competent staff, micromanages them into exhaustion, then watches them leave. Once gone, she rebuilds the role with a lower grade and a pity title, less pay, and hands it to a loyal follower.

1🔹 Hires underqualified candidates so she can control them for life. Grateful, anxious, and easy to manipulate, they become her puppets.

2🔹 Recruits family into handpicked role to keep her inner circle tight, protected and unchallenged.

Potc Leverage GIF ALT: Potc Leverage GIF

As we await the poll winner… let’s talk about Kobra’s hiring strategy.

“LEVERAGE” This one word drives her entire approach to power.

Here’s the playbook:

Now that we’ve introduced Kobra, who should we call out next?

*This is a fully anonymous X poll, you don’t need to follow us to vote, and your identity stays private under X’s own policies.
#CallTheBulliesOut

x.com/BiocCamTruth...

Support staff? Denied pay progression, reward points, and career growth — unless you bark on command.

Stay tuned — the Kobra & Co. shenanigans have only just begun.

#KobraWithadog #ToxicLeadership

Misuse of power? ✅
Corruption cover-ups? ✅✅
Turning admin into her personal fiefdom? Absolutely.

No budget to fix anything, but reward bumps for Kobra & her obedient bandits? Every time.

🚨 Meet Kobra Withadog, the self-styled queen of the Biochemistry Department 🐍

She didn’t rise by merit, just a mix of intimidation, manipulation, and driving out anyone who dared to question her “rule.” From gaslighting junior staff to isolating experienced professionals.

We were surprised to see the HoD refer members of the dept to the same admin team responsible for so much harm. Maybe he doesn’t see the full picture yet, but we do.

In the coming posts, we’ll help Mr.HoD get to know his team better.

Starting with their captain.....