Alex Sanchez

Just learned that New Jersey has other islands? I thought it was just Atlantic City and Sicily

A tweet from Homestar Screens @grapenutsrobot depicting the character Strong Bad

Twitter is down. This is the last post that loaded on my TL. Maybe it's down forever and this is the last tweet I'll ever see, like a dying man's last memory being of his mother's face

An underrated part of American culture is the subconscious belief that if you can just make yourself stupid enough you can get into heaven through the door babies use

Guy on the radio at the Christian thrift store just said "diapers may very well be the thing God uses to push your squishy button today"

The Grinch And Santa Are Raging Inside Me

The Doula's Tulpa #thedoulastulpa

This is what happened to jack skellington

How high does your blood sugar have to get before you stop worrying about mosquitoes and start worrying about hummingbirds?

*guy defending trump* well I know HILLARY wasn't doing it

Last night at Halloween I drank a diet coke with lime while smoking a menthol cigarette. Scintillating. Refreshing.

I'm in the pond with a boba straw slurpin up my weight in tadpoles

"I asked ChatGPT" "I asked Grok" yeah well I asked my friend Joe, I asked my friend Jake, they said it was fhqwhgads

Steampunk hacker pulling a bunch of levers really fast

installing a subwoofer in my car to make the Google maps lady sound taller

He keeps pointing at his horns to indicate that he's horny

Rumble The Bison has been spotted at the Red Dog

The top of every Thunder fan’s Spotify Wrapped is about to be Sam Presti’s Milk Money

Rumble better get a ring

Chet needs to be 2-3x fatter

I actually don't think the three-pointer should be a part of basketball. It's dishonorable

Basketball is my least favorite sport I hate the way they dribble up and down the court

They put Patton Oswalt and Jar Jar Martin in X-men

Arthur the Aardvark is Latino

The Oklahoma City Thunder

The poster for the movie Bartleby, an adaptation of Melville's Bartleby The Scrivener. It features Crispin Glover looking creepy as usual, head in the middle of the frame, with the heads of the other characters and Melville himself swirling around above him. In front of his chest is the title, Bartleby, and underneath the title is the tagline: I would prefer not to.

You: you better not be the 2001 film adaptation of Herman Melville's famous short story "Bartleby the Scrivener" when I get home
Me:

This is extremely stupid. And yet Jamie, @themartinduprass.bsky.social, @serioussanchez.bsky.social, and @zizpa.bsky.social still turned in Grade-A performances.

We love you @clabbergirl.bsky.social

Chat Pile @ QMU, Glasgow: live review - The Skinny Impossibly affable Oklahomans Chat Pile bring their mix of barrelling riffs and harrowing storytelling to Glasgow for a show that's equal parts ferocious and fun.

'The sheer thudding force of @chatpileband.bsky.social is what’s initially noticeable – and when I say 'noticeable', I mean in the way a plane landing in your kitchen is noticeable.'

★★★★★ for Chat Pile in Glasgow earlier this week

All will fall before the Spirit of the Prairie

Ben Affleck, who is from Boston, dressed as Batman, who wears a black cape

let's get lost tonight, you can be my black-caped Bostonite