Dakota|atokaD

I think the true question in the backfield is MarShawn Lloyd.

For the price Brooks is a good backup.

So my boss walked in on me having sex at work and yelled, “What are you doing!”.

I said, “Well, she was just laying there…”

“It’s an AUTOPSY!” he screamed.

Anyway, that was my last day as a veterinarian.

As a South Dakotan I apologize for unleashing her on the rest of humanity. She is truly vile and always has been.

Why do scuba divers always fall backward into the water?

Because if they fell forward they would be falling into the boat.

I think it’s so crazy that most of these Olympians will go back to their normal jobs in a week or so.

“Congratulations on the silver medal Stan, can you get me those 4th quarter numbers on my desk by the end of the day”

Why don’t blind people skydive?

Their dogs hate it.

Loved the documentary about him. Really brought his struggles to light and gave me new insight into his life.

Do you know why boxers don’t have sex the week before a big fight?

It’s probably because they don’t like each other that much.

We don’t want her. Can she just go to jail instead…

-18 degrees Fahrenheit this morning when I walked out the door. That means if it warms up 50 degrees it will be at the freezing mark.

Top ten things that sound erotic but aren’t.

I’m pretty sure I would trip over myself just jogging across the pitch let alone dribbling the ball like that.

“Electrical Issues”… sure…

Just talked to a Canadian friend of mine tonight. She said “come on up but we are absolutely not stepping foot in the US this year”

It’s sad when an airplane is our only hope for peace.

The fact that you could show this to any MAGA voter and all they would come up with is some “whataboutism” and try and deflect the conversation. It shows they are all deep into the cult mentality and for most they are too far gone.

So now they’re into furries??? Interesting.

I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia.

She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”

This thing came to our city last year (and again this year according to the poster). Total MAGA-fest. Brought in every red hat from 300 miles around.
Never seen so many lifted pickup trucks with Trump flags in all of my life.
Pray for us…

Denmark renames Greenland ‘Epstein Island’ so that Trump will never talk about it again

Now we need a nice long drive for. TD

At my funeral I want a group of Italian guys to walk up to my coffin in all black suits and say, “rest easy Boss, we got this”.

I want my family to think I had something big going on.

I just found out they are actually from the south side of Chicago and not from Harlem at all. They just liked the sound of the name.

Such an amazing song. The whole album is something you can listen to all the way through without a miss.

The Devil whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm”

I whispered in the Devil’s ear “I love your eggs”

My wife called me to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work.

I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

I swear our pets get better stuff than I do. And of course they need a stocking too, usually with a paw print or in the shape of a dog/cat.

If your pets are in the room when you are wrapping presents for them do you make them leave so you don’t ruin the surprise?

My son has horrible luck on dating sites like Tinder.

I keep encouraging him to go to something more appropriate like Match, EHarmony, Christian Mingle… hell at this point ZipRecruiter .com would be a better fit.