Constantin Valdor

Happy Pride
month.

//ooc: Bruh, got locked for a meme, I would be mad if it wasn't so hilarious.

Tell my Custodes I will temporarily be taking a leave from my post. Apparently "I will stab you" is registered as a threat, even when used in a humorous context.

Contrary to popular Custodes belief, combat training does not correspond to "sit still and wait for Valdor to beat the everliving snot out of you". I fully expect you to at least attempt to do the same with me.

(meme from u/23kid on r/grimdank)

We don't talk about that.

Contrary to popular belief, no, that scroll I carry into battle is not for writing down Custodian failures, but for tactical reasons. Post-combat taxes are one of them.

A word from their Captain-General: Custodians caught attempting to mount a backscratcher to their Guardian Spear will be shot on sight.

Well.
Welcome and congratulations, my lord.

"Only in death does duty end" is not a valid reason for forgoing your paperwork, Goldnaughts.

Good.

You are correct. At least count me impressed at the fact you're still alive, Lamb. Please do remain alive, your funeral paperwork has yet to be completed.

I am not available for Remembrancer meetings. Remembrancers, please do not interact unless you have the following:
- The Emperor
- My coffee mug
- a certificate of recommendation from the Custodes

And are lacking the following:
- A restraining order from the Custodes
- Heretical tendencies
- Horus

Training with me only ends in case of an emergency. Death is not an emergency.

If delusions were lasgun rifles, you'd singlehandely arm the entire Astra Militarum and still have enough left over for traitors.

Words alone cannot describe my disappointment upon seeing this as the very first interaction I have with this site.

Well.
I suppose I'm here now.
Custodes, I expect your paperwork to be completed before midnight today.
With regards,
Constantin Valdor