Sober Life

Haalp!
I have a young person in my life who has never seen Will Smith ride a giant mechanical spider in the wild west wearing a cowboy hat.
Name that movie so I can save this child's life.

Some days are easy, some days are... Take my heart. Don't break it....

Sometimes you talk yourself out of urges. Sometimes that means talking yourself into a Mini Dairy Queen Blizzard at an irrational time of day.
Love you.

YouTube video by Livingston Livingston - Last Man Standing (Acoustic)

#nowplaying Last Man Standing - Livingston

youtu.be/cmRaaXYtQFc?...

I take myself to shows these days.
Today? Kimberly Akimbo.
I renewed because I am desperate to have something to do... I can't sit with myself and be okay.

Glad you're here!

My love. I'm sorry.
How was today?

I'm glad you're here.

As we prepare for a new week, treasure and protect your self respect, value the dignity of others, and know that your small acts of kindness will make more difference than you’ll ever see. You are You, and that’s good enough. Embrace it. 😊

#Cornwall #sunset #nature #life #peace #love #hope #calm

Credit card service is down; I planned to tip $8. I hand the girl a $20, and the sheer confusion on her face as she tried to figure out how to open the cash drawer and what to do next was embarrassing to witness.
I talked her through it, but fam... we need to bring back real monopoly again.

Keep showing up.

I'm visiting Chicago.
I love this city.

For the first time, scientists say, they have evidence that using a biologic drug to remove sticky beta amyloid plaques from the brains of people destined to develop Alzheimer’s dementia can delay the disease.

Read more: cnn.it/4iHjzJj

It's okay to scream "this fuckng sucks."
Except maybe at work (if you like your job.)
Everything can be going right, but your brain is telling you things are not going right, and it f****** sucks.
Let your brain get that nonsense out and then go and live your awesome life.

Daybreak will be here before you know it.

I didn't realize there was so much time. I have to learn how to make and do things. How to exist for anything other than the next use.
I've never had to make or do things... Solid 2+ decades of doing/noticing jack shit nothing.
Thanks. It's so small and so big. It's everything. That's the point.

What are you supposed to do with all this time?

Trying to do things sober that you only associate with using is scary. You have to be in a good place, and be prepared.
It's not an excuse to use. It's not an "oh well." It's not a requirement to use just because it has felt that way for decades.
Today is a new day and a new way.

I get waaaay too invested in my work. Truth? It doesn't matter. It's a job. I choose this work because it is challenging, but if I quit or got fired I'd be okay.
There is no finish line, just more to do. I know I have to adjust my approach and attitude before I work myself to death.

Waiting for the big snow!

Caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror out in the wild.

I'm pretty sure I have an inability to recognize my own face - I look so alien to my own brain. I don't mean old or ugly... just foreign, detached, not mine. I don't have a face when I picture myself. I don't have a face when I dream.

This is supremely fucked up. I mean, I read about this earlier, but to see it in writing is devastating.

Worked until 3:30am last night. Definitely felt it all day.
My brain was fried, and the whispers started before I even packed my work stuff.
Tonight's plan to keep the whispers from turning into screams? A mini turtle pecan blizzard with Reese's peanut butter cup.
It's okay to be weak sometimes.

Not even one.
Not for me.
To be fair, those little whispers that tell me it will be fine are not totally wrong. Because it will be fine, I'll handle it great for days or weeks... until I don't. And it's a hell of a lot easier to get off track than it is to get back on.

#sober

Non Profit Healthcare program offered by the biggest Unions.

a cartoon of winnie the pooh looking at himself in a mirror with the words look at all the bothers i give ALT: a cartoon of winnie the pooh looking at himself in a mirror with the words look at all the bothers i give

"Why are you acting so different?"

I am truly out of fucks to give. I am not currently engaging with things that don't help me grow and shine. If I am no longer entertaining you or making you feel powerful, and that's a problem for you, that sounds like a "you" problem. Good luck with that.

In Sweden there's a dam monitored by random people worldwide watching an underwater livestream. When enough fish gather (and are reported by the random people watching and ringing the virtual doorbell), the ecologist has the dam keeper open the dam to free the fish.
Maybe there's hope for us yet.

I caught myself thinking of breaking into an old Rx I never opened (cuz I'm an addict that wanted to protect my body from interactions, obvi).
Results of reflection: I'm not actually in serious pain or sore. I just desperately want to check out & 2-3 would do it.

Get your shit together, girl!

It's the sledding that won them over. :) Happy for you!

Did you know McDonald's Blizzards now come in Chinese takeout boxes?

The look of confusion on my face...