Ian of the Sea

TRUMP: *laying American flag over a soldier’s coffin* And if you think this is a nice drape…

You only get one waste. Don’t life it.

🚑 EPISODE 171 - AMBULANCE 🚑
Join us for a scenic tour of Los Angeles from the back of the titular vehicle as we cover Michael Bay’s 2022 bomb AMBULANCE

RT if you remember the way going to the movies in the 90s was crazy and tragic 🤪💔

I was terrified of apes for YEARS after my dad took me to see this movie (he was mauled to death by a gibbon in the AMC parking lot)

🤖EPISODE 170 - SHORT CIRCUIT 2 🤖
We’re going all the way back 1988 for one of the original cute movie robots. It’s SHORT CIRCUIT 2

No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor

Oops! All Field Goals

I believe that comparison is the thief of joy. At least as much as the next guy.

*hi scratchy voice* Welcome to the Blasssoooo!

Maybe we need to enunciate better

Poster image from the new Jason Statham film which is simply called "Shelter."

HIM: Wanna see the new Jason Statham movie, Shelter?

ME: You mean Shelter Man? He plays a guy who builds shelters?

HIM: No

ME: Must be The Shelter Cleaner, a humble custodian by day..

HIM: The title is just Shelter

ME: Ah yes "shelter", one who is an expert at shelting

meme from the movie One Battle After Another. Colonel Lockjaw is facing Bob Ferguson, saying "Do you like Blast Zones? I love 'em."

🧬 EPISODE 169 - ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER 🧬
We’re wrapping up our 2025 retrospective with the likely front runner for best picture: Paul Thomas Anderson’s ONE BATTLE AFTER ANOTHER

🚀EPISODE 168 - MICKEY 17🚀
We continue our look back at 2025 with an episode about Bong Joon Ho’s return to the big screen, it’s MICKEY 17

Marty Supreme? More like… more like One Paddle After Another

Q: How do you assemble the new avengers?

A: With thunder bolts! 🤣

Q: Why did you tweet that?

A: I'm struggling personally! 🤣

⚡️EPISODE 167 - THUNDERBOLTS* ⚡️
Antiheroes. Action. Asterisks. What more do you need? About another $100,000,000 in box office receipts to start. This week we’re covering 2025’s THUNDERBOLTS*

Text "police departments when asked to explain misconduct by officers" attached image is Master Tang from Kung Pow saying "We have purposely trained him wrong, as a joke.”

"It wasn't murder, and if you say it was murder we will kill you, which again will not be murder."

I often ask myself how do I, as a man, measure up to The Accountant 2

Every movie’s success should be measured in relation to The Accountant 2

You gotta understand. The ICE agent was genuinely scared. He felt threatened, disrespected, diminished. He was unsure, unsteady, unhinged. He was all fucked up, pissed off, shitting bricks. He was authentically callous, honestly vindictive, truly enraged. You gotta understand.

we're gonna need to borrow the gadsden flag until the treading stops kthx

Fascism means never having to say you're sorry

Anyone who isn’t furious is not to be trusted

😷 EPISODE 166 - EDDINGTON 😷

We’re back from the holiday break with our first Ari Aster movie, it’s 2025’s EDDINGTON

meme of Gollum with bugged out eyeballs desperately shrieking "We wants it! We needs it!"

I was confused as to why Trump thinks annexing Greenland is a national security priority. Thankfully the admin sent a spokesperson to give us this cogent and detailed explanation:

alien vs predator vs scott pilgrim vs the world

close up photo of a bag of raisins marked "Thompson Raisins"

I call my little oranges "Clementine" or "Cutie" but other fruits are much more formal. Me and raisins aren't even on a first name basis.