ashley, blazing ember🔥

this is incredible omg

genuinely so much more true than any of us want it to be! hunger and thirst and poor sleep are such hideous amplifiers on an already powderkeg brain

i still have crazy bitch moments but they're so much milder and less frequent, and i know how to identify them as they're coming on and prep to weather my own storms without dragging other people into it

and it's a lot to get a handle on at first, but seriously, working on getting better with my BPD is sincerely the among the two best emotional investments i have ever made, on par with starting HRT.

it's so much more manageable if you just work at actually managing it for a few months :/ like it's not easy but it's very doable to reduce your severity and it's so worth it to feel better and be less unstable all the time

i wish i were important to someone

i sincerely believe that i have never been truly important to anyone in my entire life.

i have been on this line of thought for about 3 weeks now, i think. and every day it feels easier to accept that it's the truth.

i don't think i ever will be, either.

put trans women characters in things

i am not asking i am commanding

i sure do wish i could hold onto anything good for longer than 2 or 3 months before i ruined it. my life is a sieve through which all good eventually flows out and away.

anyone wanna be really fast intense friends for 1 to 3 months and then suddenly abandon the other person without explanation? haha

idk what the fuck this is but im beyond sick of telling the discover feed to give me less posts with the tag and it not listening ever

i am a black hole of a person

my biggest takeaway from the past almost ~2 months is i need to work much harder to avoid overestimating my importance to anyone, no matter what they say with their words

taken from us too soon

horrors 30 minute lunch break

horrors 10 minutes cigarette break

working on labor rights for the horrors

the tiktok stole an F16 thing is so funny to me and i don't know why

we're a cult of life, if anything

literally made me not just stay alive, but actively want to be alive and enjoy being alive, a thing i was incapable of feeling without transition

Bloom Into You is really intensely beautiful

and it's really hurting my lonely heart to watch it

having testosterone cratered and estrogen within an acceptable range for over a year and watching essentially nothing happen to my body beneath the shaving and the feeble attempts at makeup is really fucking painful and despiriting

i need to avoid trans timeline related stuff for now because the before/after on my 14 month timeline looks basically identical and that's gonna make me lose my shit if i keep getting reminded

here's hoping the cost of soy milk and tofu craters 🤞

i'm saying!

i struggle to understand why so much fantasy writing gets mired in the medieval and doesn't like to touch the early modern, even to the point of backporting so many early modernisms into a medieval story, rather than just telling a story set in the fantasy equivalent of e.g. 1450-1650.

love witch hazel

KeePass has remained excellent for me for 8 years now. (the big 2016 breach prompted me to start using a manager at the start of 2017)

"the only constant in my life is my fears coming true" goddess damn, grace power, i wasn't expecting to be called out like that

i can't believe Bill Kristol of all people is more fervently and clearly in support of my existence than a lot of "allies" are.

i'm simply too inherently sincere and genuine to be affected by the irony poisoning.

reconnect with a very lesbian friend from several years ago

friend is super cool with me being a trans woman and we get along even better now than we did back then

oh turns out he's actually a super closeted tboy oops lmao