Fulkery

*picks up Modelo tall-boy.

“Hmmm, I really do need to name my imaginary character’s imaginary horse.”

*sips

Okay a challenger keeping up with a dump truck is not exciting drama.

(at a job interview) you'll see on my resume under "special skills" that i am actually able to sweat to any genre of music, and not just Oldies

Picard sure loves to wear a slutty little robe

I wanna get ratio'd by my dad

I have confidence in your abilities

Some guy in the movie “Rapid Action”

Argue all you like. May the women and gender-open men rejoice.

I’m CIS af but this dude in Rapid Action has noteworthy lips.

Well, anything connected to Musk is pretty fucking dumpster too

Maple syrup is bomb ass mfer shit

Citizens United counter argument cold, corporations cannot be jailed.

Supported

Let me make it more clear: Every mention of AI in your product reduces my chances of paying for it significantly. It absolutely eliminates the chance of me buying stock in it.

It’s just eagerness, babe.

Rum’n’butt stuff

I like lingerie
But sometimes it tries too hard
A roll in the hay
Waking up in the backyard
[O+ leaves a lot of kidney donation eligibility]

here's to the unavoidable horrors of the coming week

i went to your poetry jam so you owe me a kidney

The aliens aren't even picking up the phone anymore

Here I am, rock me like I'm Herman Cain

The coolest playground slides

I want to attach this to my front door. It would give me incentive to actually leave the house

Bunnicula! Bunnicula!

Whales are the only animals that sing happy birthday to each other.

Whales are incredible.

breaking: hhs secretary rfk jr is donning his official jeans to bench press the bodies of the fallen soldiers

I get it, doggo, I wasn’t done after the first poop of the morning either.

if i backed over a monkey with a stuffed orangutan i don't need to report it do i?

I would like to become a shiny yet haunted artifact on a warm mantel

Talking shit about you with the babbling brook