Paulley Ticks

BREAKING: Pete Hegseth is found trapped in the walk-in liquor cooler at his neighborhood 7-Eleven, two blocks from his home.

#PeteHegseth #WhiskeyPete

"Do you mean to tell me that you cannot do one single pull up, Private Wino?? You gotta be sh*ttin' me!!! Get the F off of my chin up bar, NOW!!!"

#PeteHegseth #PrivateWino

"Cheer up, Cucky! And don't be so upset with Elon for stealing your wife, cuz, to be honest, I had her too! And I ain't the only one."

#StephenMiller #LeonardoDiCaprio

Liar, liar, CROSS on fire.

Fixed it.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the gym...

More fun with Pull-ups Pete.

#PeteHegseth

Now I know the term "Girl pull-ups" is outdated and blatantly sexist, but in this particular situation: if the shoes fit, wear 'em.

#PeteHegseth

BREAKING: a video has been leaked of the DHS conducting a job interview with a new ICE agent.

#DonaldTrump #ICEholes
If you'd like to make AI videos like this, click the link in my bio. #yapper

All 800 United States military Generals performed "the wave" after Donald Trump's speech on Tuesday.

#DonaldTrump

This new Slenderman movie looks absolutely terrifying.

#KristiNoem #Ozempic

Just when you thought his head couldn't get any more frightening...

#ICE

Fixed it.

#DonaldTrump If you'd like to make AI videos like this, click the link in my bio. #yapper

BREAKING: after delivering a highly critical and controversial speech to all 800 Generals of the US armed forces, Pete Hegseth became the only serviceman in the history of the United States military to be administered the extremely rare and difficult to achieve "double atomic wedgie".

#PeteHegseth

After delivering a controversial speech to all 800 US military Generals last night, Pete Hegseth completely misreads the room and throws himself backwards into the audience, in a shockingly futile attempt to crowd surf.

#PeteHegseth

Fixed it.

Fixed it.

#PeteHegseth
If you'd like to make AI videos like this, click the link in my bio. #yapper

BREAKING: while government shutdown negotiations were going on in the oval office - Erika Kirk was caught "praying for Charlie" behind Donald Trump's desk.

".... and now, will all the Generals rise and give a salute of complete loyalty and respect to your Secretary of War, National Guard Major, Pete Hegseth..."

#DonaldTrump #PeteHegseth

BREAKING: after calling all 800 US generals to an emergency meeting to berate them, Pete Hegseth and Donald Trump hold a secret meeting solidifying their plans to take over the entire US military.

#PeteHegseth

If you'd like to make AI videos like this, click the link in my bio. #yapper

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Pete Hegseth, self-admitted alcoholic, spouse abuser and frat boy - and leader of the single most powerful military on the face of the earth.

We are SOOOOOOOOOO F'd!
#PeteHegseth If you'd like to make AI videos like this, click the link in my bio. #yapper

BREAKING: Trump administration releases architect's rendering of the new White House Ballroom.

#DonaldTrump #Epstein

Fox: You’re in for a treat at the grocery story. Grocery beef prices are up about 14% a year and steaks are up 17%.

What a treat that is. 🥴

Finally some truth in advertising.

#DonaldTrump #ICE

This is a crystal clear image of the scumbag Nazi ICE agent that brutally assaulted a mother at a NYC immigration office, while her young daughter watched - and a new photo showing him grabbing her hair before he slammed her to the ground.

Make him even MORE famous.

BREAKING: Beauty contestant, turned Donald Trump's lead Prosecutor Lindsey Halligan, files motion demanding "statue of limitations" - arguing to the presiding judge that she's heard other lawyers talking about theirs, but she's never received one.

#LindseyHalligan

This has got blockbuster written all over it.

#DonaldTrump #Epstein

As out-of-control as Elon's son is, he makes a good point.

#DonaldTrump #EpsteinFiles

Well, of course, cuz they know he's "MONEY", period.

BREAKING: Time releases bookend covers for their new tribute to Bruce Springsteen issue.

#DonaldTrump #BruceSpringsteen