America already has secret police, we just call them undercover cops.
America already has gulags, we just call it prison labor.
America already has breadlines, we just call it SNAP.
America already has secret police, we just call them undercover cops.
America already has gulags, we just call it prison labor.
America already has breadlines, we just call it SNAP.
I love how no bathroom 100% commits to motion sensing technology.
28.02.2026 03:26 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0I know this is a big "No duh" statement but it's genuinely disturbing how Christofascism and capital continue to make all of our lives worse.
27.02.2026 17:29 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0It's a shame I have to boycott Scream 7 cuz it looks like such a good movie that I really wanna see
27.02.2026 10:32 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 1 π 0A.I. is doing to video what Pinterest did to Google Image Search.
27.02.2026 02:59 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Whoever wrote the IMDb Goofs section for IF I HAD LEGS I'D KICK YOU (2025) obviously hated the movie.
17.02.2026 08:02 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
"The fuck are you doing? Just talk like a normal person. Jesus Christ."
-me giving feedback on a Groundlings show
My comedy hot take is that airplane food is different enough now that it should be fair game to be joked about again.
06.02.2026 08:48 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0People are being executed in the street over a problem that straight up does not exist and both parties are complicit in the lie
24.01.2026 17:49 β π 9960 π 2576 π¬ 53 π 47
"Hey, I noticed there's a little traffic on the freeway, so instead here are nine unprotected left turns."
-Google Maps
Jessie Buckley is nominated for an Oscar so I'm bringing back one of the funniest things I've ever come up with, based on my favorite movie of hers (though I haven't seen Hamnet yet).
22.01.2026 20:39 β π 2 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0What if Helen Keller's first words had been trans rights
12.01.2026 08:34 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
*skips recap*
*skips intro*
*scrolls for entirety of show*
I love TV!
*skips end credits*
Mayor Jacob Frey: βTo ICE, get the fuck out of Minneapolis.β
07.01.2026 18:43 β π 14447 π 3842 π¬ 244 π 372
This video is 5 years old but has not aged a day.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjZU...
"Posting here in case anyone has a 2019 or newer Cadillac Escalade with less than 10,000 miles they'd be willing to give away. Can only accept one with Eddie Bauer seats. Thanks."
-how some people be sounding in my buy nothing group
Every single one of my friends, apparently
02.01.2026 20:55 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
Yeah so 2025 sucked. Personal low for me and the country in general. But what got me through it was the love of my friends and family.
If we shared a meal, a drink, a laugh, or a conversation together this year, even once, you helped me more than you know. Thank you.
See you in 2026.
My niece is 6 years old. Too early to introduce her to King Crimson? I was gonna start with Red but now thinking that may be too much for her and should go with Larks' Tongues instead. Thoughts?
24.12.2025 08:38 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
"But if you vote third party you're just helping Republicans!" as if Democrats don't help Republicans ALL THE TIME
www.reuters.com/legal/litiga...
If he runs for a third term, commit voter fraud and vote for his opponent dozens or hundreds of times. Who gives a shit at that point, right?
18.12.2025 03:06 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Just got a phone call from Barack Obama thanking me for writing every Pixies song
17.12.2025 09:04 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Wesley Willis was a schizophrenic, unhoused man who used a Casio keyboard preset. If he can make music without A.I., so can you.
14.12.2025 04:54 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0My movie hot take is that home releases should include the "edited for TV" versions as an extra. I want the Big Lebowski "find a stranger in the Alps" cut, damn it.
12.12.2025 01:31 β π 3 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0If Mitch Hedberg were alive today he would definitely have a podcast but it would be one of those really low-rent ones with no video because he doesn't know how to set it up and it would sound like shit but it would also be the funniest one in existence.
09.12.2025 05:57 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0
I have been studying, writing, and performing comedy for 12 years. In all that time, with all my experience, this is the greatest piece of comedy knowledge I can share with you:
If you're going to pour a milkshake over someone's head, the funniest flavor is strawberry.
Spotify is garbage on every count: Its treatment of artists, its ICE advertising, the CEO's investment in military AI, its leading role in the commodification and AI slopification of music, its terrible audio qualityβyou name it.
So I quit, and put together a complete guide to getting off Spotify: