He cooks me Hamburger Helper and boy does it!
28.09.2025 17:33 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0One week at my new escalator job and I’m so happy!
26.09.2025 01:43 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Tylenol with ranch is safe!
24.09.2025 02:11 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I got my new Covid booster and it was in a Labubu!
10.09.2025 17:57 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Stop screaming in public! Put your head in the freezer and do it there like a normal person!
03.09.2025 04:41 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
We are going Off Broadway honey!
playbill.com/article/drew...
I also went missing on a cruise ship!
23.07.2025 06:36 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The Marines are going to love me!
10.06.2025 00:42 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
My daughter’s name is Tariffs!
05.03.2025 04:58 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
If you don’t get a dozen eggs for Valentines Day they don’t love you!
06.02.2025 02:34 — 👍 9 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0As long as they don’t raise the price of Faberge Eggs I’m happy!
05.02.2025 18:59 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 1He buys me shrimp cocktail defrosted!
02.02.2025 09:02 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0