Philip K. Shtick

Not faulting Warren here, but it’s absolutely heartbreaking that our politicians are compelled to appeal to the wallets of voters before they appeal to our good nature and respect for human life.

At least 165 school-age girls are dead. In a just world, that should be the lede. Not gas prices.

Rules of Edible Arrangements

The price of a barrel of oil either saved more children from dying or will cause more children to die.

I mean, Trump already had plenty of blood on his hands (USAID destruction, ICE custody deaths/Minnesota, Venezuela boats, etc.) but this is deserving of a Hague special with a side of shackles.

I did this except Jackson Brown.

It’s just so stupidly obvious he had zero plan and the markets spooked him. Just like with the tariffs, but now children are dead.

So I haven’t seen any of the movies, but what does this mean for the Cars universe?

Do they, like, starve to death?

But who will pitch Selleckon Valley?

You heard it. Lindsey Graham and the Republicans are going to fellate the Iranians.

If, in your eyes, acknowledging the existence of gay people requires therapy, you’re telling us more about yourself than the audience.

Also…

“wE’rE mAKiNg A mOvIE, nOt tHEraPy.”

MFer, you made Inside Out… twice!

Markwayne Muck
(Let’s Get Dangerous)

My only economic education is Macro 101 in college and occasionally listening to Marketplace on my commute (shoutout @kairyssdal.bsky.social) and I can say I saw this coming.

Zach Galifianakis doing stand up comedy in two frames. Top frame with Galifianakis saying this first character is called, "the pretentious illiterate." Lower frame shows Galifianakis condescendingly removing his glasses while saying, "Um, I told you--I don't know how to read."

Ryan Grim is essentially Zach Galifianakis’ impression of a ‘Pretentious Illiterate’.

It’s a mansplain-level of condescension while also being wildly incorrect. Just an incredible one-two punch of outrageous overconfidence in one own’s intelligence.

Has there been any studies done on susceptibility to propaganda after stroke? Asking for a Fetterman.

There’s no emoji for this

bsky.app/profile/atru...

Drawing from the strategic reserves? Then buying futures to replace? I have no idea how this works

🎵Kristi doesn’t Noem🎵

Markwayne Mullin is just as abhorrent as Noem but now he knows there are limits to what he’ll get away with. And I could imagine him doing even worse than Noem under televised inquiry. Keep chipping away at the chuds.

Trump seems impossible to shame, but his underlings do not share this power. We know the loyalty only goes in one direction so if you turn these people into liabilities, he’ll cut bait.

Keep calling them out even if their transgressions fall out of the news cycle. More (Kash? Hegseth?) will fall.

S-tier Onion Headline

Trump’s gonna invade Cuba the day before.

Just wait until Laura Loomer finds out how many Muslim Americans her President is bringing home.

a man is playing a keyboard on a stage in a dark room . ALT: a man is playing a keyboard on a stage in a dark room .

Pete Hegseth launching missiles

Find out who traveled the furthest using mass transit and give them a Cheesecake Factory gift card.

Early contender for “How The Hell Is This Not An Onion Headline” award, dystopian category.

Does this include the Epstein files?

The timeline cleanses don’t hit like they used too

It’s a shame Toby Keith is no longer with us to revitalize his career on warmongering.