virtual angel ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱

I HATE DISSOCIATION I almost never feel Normal

sometimes it feels like I have no control over my body

this is about an irl thing i dont' want to elaborate on here for privacy reasons

like so mad i want to cry ngl...

never mind :) tip: i am so fucking mad :)

it's kinda weird how it's taken me so long to allow myself to use certain terms to discuss my trauma. even being told i fit the criteria for CPTSD vs anything else was disorienting. i've been in such bad denial for so long that it's hard to accept that i am in fact traumatized

an ex mutual who took me leaving a little too personally apparently?? LMAO

i still can't believe i got vagued for saying I'm leaving twt LMAOOO like duh that site fucking sucks why would i force myself to be on it for the sake of other people..? that's bad for me, dude!

been SUUUUPER depressed all day + am getting overstimulated super easily... I'm miserable to put it lightly

today has been so so bad. between getting waves of being suicidal over how stupid & bad at everything i am and the horrible stress from Everything I'm just... not good right now

i am horribly depressed for a plethora of reasons! woohoo!

life really sucks

literally cannot go on twt without getting angry please let that website explode already 🙏

you're very kind, thank you!! i was just in a bad headspace but i'm doing better now

honestly i love that, too. there's never any pressure to respond right away & that's awesome! but yeah i was just in a bad headspace & i'm feeling a bit better now; thank you for the reassurance, though!!

nah it's ok I just found out something that made me really upset. Will be alright shortly most likely 👍

everything is going to shit. it has been for a while. don't know why i fucking bother

mad as fuck about something not gonna lie

2024 was mostly good but spiraled downhill toward the end & i doubt 2025 is gonna be any better so whtever

i genuinely do not think anyone actually likes me i give up

LIKE WHAT!!!!!!! learned later seroquel has the potential to cause heart conduction problems like that & luckily my psychiatrist told me to stop taking it & when i later on went to the hospital, they ran tests to make sure i wasn't still experiencing it. but like... hello?

he COMPLETELY blew me off when i was describing long qt syndrome caused by seroquel which... had the potential to kill me very suddenly if i had left it untreated. said "yeah seroquel can cause palpitations" & straight up was like "aw you're having side effects ):" when i described everything else

i've been to like 3 cardiologists over the course of my life due to my arrhythmia & trying to catch it on an ekg & let me tell you... the amount of negligence i had to endure because of the last one is insane

*feels like i'm being possessed & starts acting different* *remembers that is The Point & starts screaming*

a man with a surprised look on his face holds his hands to his head ALT: a man with a surprised look on his face holds his hands to his head

it's crazy how anytime a very typical OSDD/DID symptom will happen to me, i'm like this because I'm still toeing the line between utter denial & reluctant acceptance

had a really severe trauma moment on saturday & i'm STILL trying to recover from it ughhhhh been dissociating hard ever since

derealization hitting hard tonight

that's so frustrating I'm so sorry. I had a couple of doctors hit me with "bipolar with psychosis" which isn't accurate to my experiences before I got my proper diagnosis. the amount of negligence in this field is appalling sometimes

what's even funnier is that she said i was more manic on the day i took the test but then said i was depressive type schizoaffective LIKE?!??! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING--

like we /know/ & my therapist has told me she absolutely sees the dissociative disorder in me which is fine because the treatment is gonna be from her anyway so *shrugs* but it will never not make me livid to think about how fucked over i got this year