thedefunctdiva

A large orange and white cat, curled up and sleeping on a fluffy white throw pillow.

It’s been a while. I’ve been battling some mental health issues. Here is Frank, sleeping on his favorite pillow.

I sang the song “Hero” by Mariah Carey for a high school talent show. I joke that I peaked in junior high school, but the song still has great personal relevance. So it is the song of the day.
#songoftheday

“Round Here” by Counting Crows is the best song I’ve ever heard about mental illness.

It’s a contemplative narrative that perfectly exemplifies the melancholy inherent in those with severe mental health problems.

#songoftheday

I am a bit under the weather so the song today is “Adelaide’s Lament” from “Guys and Dolls,” sung by the incomparable Barbara Streisand.
#songoftheday

I am a bit under the weather so the song today is “Adelaide’s Lament” from “Guys and Dolls,” sung by the incomparable Barbara Streisand.
#songoftheday

The song “Rain” by Madonna was played at the funeral of a family friend many years ago. For a long time I had a hard time listening to it.

But it’s raining in Boise, ID and I can think of no better song to honor those we’ve lost today. Thank you for your music, Madonna. ❤️
#songoftheday

“Against All Odds” by Phil Collins conveys such a longing and desperation. It’s beautiful. I am a huge fan of Collins and his body of work. I need to seek out more concert footage of him and/or Genesis…
#songoftheday

Pedro Pascal, Ariana Grande and Dua Lipa Sign Open Letter Supporting Federal Funding for LGBTQ+ Youth Suicide Prevention Pedro Pascal, Ariana Grande and Dua Lipa are among more than 100 celebs siging an open letter to protect federal funding for LGBTQ youth suicide prevention.

“Stripping away this lifeline leaves LGBTQ+ youth with the message that their lives are not worth saving. We refuse to accept that message.” variety.com/2025/politic...

Doing things differently to catch up. Compiling a random playlist for May. “Simple Math” by Manchester Orchestra is a masterpiece.

Fight me.

open.spotify.com/playlist/1bE...

A haunted house, but it's just me alone with my symptoms with no treatment in sight

“So much to say.” So much rain fog

Add whatever I’m screwing up. My greatest enemies already know where I live, but not where I can send them to feel truly safe and regulated.
IYKYK, YOLO. But always putting them first no matter what unreliable narrators say.

Sorry guys everything is super hard for me and I try to present like it’s not. That’s not gonna fly when this personal situation is so dire I have no idea if these are the right hashtags or if I’m doing it right
#messageinabottle
#songoftheday
#disabilityjustice
#transrights
If anyone sees this,

But only if you want to help any of the people I have fought the most to protect, using music, movie trivia to understand. Hell, my partner doesn’t speak Klingon but he’s watched Andor 11…12…times? And I wanted to join him but my eyes were shite. And he knew he needed to keep peace. 2/2

Oh…is this why I could never find a use for all my fascination with movie trivia and writing? Gonna have to be more succinct while warning others in the only way I can with full transparency?
A “parasite” like me?
Shit, I’ve been waiting this whole time to get back to that.
Fellow artists, join me!

So if you need to put that theme song you and I know so well to keep your peace, just know there are two sides to every story. Take care of your incredible family. I am sorry I have not been physically well to meet all of you in person! You are amazing, cherish each other as you always have!

I saw too much of me reflected in all of them and the writers made that intentional. So as to protect these kids further than is already documented, so they can be safe as they should have been all along, I cannot say anything else.

And I won’t stoop as low as some of even members of my certain legislators here have with little consequence. So “for your eyes only.”
Remember where my grandma come from? When I’m part salty and sassy and irreverent too? “Picture it…” I always get the GGs mixed up in my head. 2/3

@kevinly79.bsky.social, when you are in a good haha mediocre headspace, I need to stop some unsubstantiated rumors spread by unreliable narrators. Without doxxing publicly. Because as salty as I am, I am the worst when letting go of things not meant for me, no matter how dear. “Such a mess.” 1/2

But rest assured, this is not the end for me because I am in the safest place. I possibly can be at the moment. This is just an intermission, because the show must go on. 🎩 🐘 🦍 🦒 🎪 🌟

So before I can start fighting narcissists on the macro level, I have to put this battle with my abuser to bed once and for all. I have already contacted all the resources I have on how best to handle this going forward.

There’s more to the story, of course, but unfortunately, because of having OCD, finally realizing the true extent of your narcissists attempts to make you *disappear* without damaging their reputation?
Basic.
So surface.
He knows very little about me because he ever cared.

Narcissist come in many forms. But no matter how shiny the snake oil he’s selling or how beautiful he seems. He has no empathy and therefore no soul.

“All out of Love” SOTD is “All out of Love.” Because I’m all out of fucks, will not explain things over while I am unpacking some complex trauma, and trying to unpack my actual stuff, so that I can do the stuff that…

Song of the day is “I’m all out of fucks,” Air Supply.
Whoops. I meant all out of love. Or did I…?

thedefunctdiva.wordpress.com/2025/03/17/a...

“So Much to Say” Ok Dave Matthews Band, no disrespect, but my eyes hurt. So I have to keep this short. Rest assured, every person in your ensemble? Amazing. Since October 2021 I have had so much to say and process.…

Hope this gets seen. Eyes in less pain but I’m out of fucks, folks thedefunctdiva.wordpress.com/2025/03/15/s...
#songoftheday

“Judith” Tool. IYKYK. This one is very dark. If you are a person of religion, this more specifically applies to others repeated attempts to convert me as well as what just happened. I will not be wasting any more energy…

If you want to know (hell, not even all of) the roots of my Sky Daddy issues, here ya go. This is why I need to stay away from socials a while. I desperately want to do what I love again. Singing and acting.
Just stop. I am fully team Satan now. 🔥 thedefunctdiva.wordpress.com/2025/03/15/j...

“If I Ever Feel Better” This is how tired but elated I looked wearing what I described as my “goth Stevie Nicks cosplay.” Because I was determined to get out and see one of my dear, immensely talented friends perfom. And …

thedefunctdiva.wordpress.com/2025/03/14/i...

Even if I can’t stand up, I am determined to rise up somehow. Music can save you even when you can’t seem to save yourself.

Let’s “roll with it.” All of Us.

A very pale, thin young woman with long curly black hair looks down at the floor wistfully. Some even called her beautiful. She is definitely thinking about music in this picture because she does not appear to be in any pain. You know, like she is right now trying to put all textwhen she has intractable pain in her eyes.

No more words, just pain today. Still trying to find the music that can truly save me.
Today’s song is “Blur” by Mø and Foster the people. Click if you want to.

“Stuff Is Way” Why talk to text for writing is a porch oyster for me: My family keeps laughing at my texts because even when my voice and enunciation are fine, the words I choose don’t translate as intended. For …

Long story short: the song of the day is “Stuff Is Way,” by the brilliant “They Might Be Giants.”

Short story long: see blog.

2/2

thedefunctdiva.wordpress.com/2025/03/12/s...