Bart King

Oregon grows more Christmas trees than other states. Climate researchers want to keep it that way • Oregon Capital Chronicle Oregon grows more Christmas trees than any other state in the country, selling 3 million trees in 2023, according to the latest federal data.

I understand their point, but wince at trucks and helicopters laden with trees that traverse the state. The trees may be evergreen, but the transport ain't green.
oregoncapitalchronicle.com/briefs/orego...

I'm designing a T-shirt reading "I'm not in denial, I'm in open rebellion!" on the front, and "Butlerian Jihad Now" on the back.

As an educator who writes children's books, I've seen the surprise on people's faces when they hear me curse. But hey, my Scots-Irish heritage means that I'm hard-wired for profanity.

You just know that Donny Jr. has a Trump Ditch Weed™ factory ready to go.

My wife is out of control.

In 2015, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton testified for more than 11 hours of questioning in one day before a House committee on Benghazi.

Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem left her hearing today ... early.

"My esteemed colleagues, based upon these findings, I have achieved Bingo. So if I may, ahem: In your face, losers!"

“no, i’m not a morning person. why do you ask?”

I’ve learned a lot during this WH administration. For example, now I know that “grift” and “graft” have nearly identical meanings. Grift is more commonly used as a verb (“undermined democracy by grifting”) and graft as a noun (“the ICE leader engaged in graft by accepting the $50k in cash”).

Photo of a bird on the subreddit r/birding with a post reading: So I wasn't aware but I received an email from ebird so | thought I should probably specify to not spread misinformation, this bird is a cardinal with xanthochromism, so yes technically a yellow cardinal, but only in color, there is a species "Yellow Cardinal: Gubernatrix cristata" but this fella is not that! Still a unique and wonderful find, they were pretty harsh with me for tagging this as the wrong species so I wanna make sure I don't make that mistake again, sorry everyone !”

Unforgivable. Don’t let this be you!

Better choices for this administration:
— Zapf Dingbats
— Comic Sans
— (Zero) Impact
(Dunno why they didn't ask me, I'm clearly a font of wisdom.)

Wyoming Cowboys Are Breaking Down Barriers, Literally

“Virtual fences and GPS collars allow the management of herds from afar, with less need for fencing.
Ranchers set boundaries to keep cows away from streams and prevent overgrazing. With fewer fences, elk, pronghorn and mule deer can migrate more easily.”
🎁 link: www.nytimes.com/2025/12/09/c...

Rubio Stages Font Coup: Times New Roman Ousts Calibri The secretary of state called it a "wasteful" diversity move, according to an internal department cable seen by Reuters.

The Secretary of Hate. www.huffpost.com/entry/rubio-...

To the person with this same Prius model/color as ours: Why you gotta do us like that?

My favorite part of being in the élite is spelling it that way. (Plus the unfettered power that comes with it, natch.)

Indian boy, aged 3, becomes youngest rated chess player in history Born in 2022, Sarwagya has been rated by FIDE, the international governing body of chess, after beating several adults.

Today, I learned that I would get smoked at chess by a near-infant?!
“The toddler’s first rating of 1572 is considerably above the minimum rating of 1,400.” www.nytimes.com/athletic/686...

Samuel Clemens once signed in at a hotel register as:
“S.L. Clemens. Profession: Mark Twain”

Oregon art walk.

A Grand Social Media Experiment Begins in Australia

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
— Frederick Douglass
www.nytimes.com/2025/12/07/w...

Seeing Secretary of Education Linda McMahon on a “History Rocks!” tour didn’t compute, but then I realized the slogan’s first draft was “Whitewashing History Rocks!”

(“Hey kids, ready to redact the record of any mention of people of color? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”)

OK, but isn’t this a national issue?

John Cusack plays a song on a colloquially named ghetto blaster.

Science article heading with photo of two frogs: “She didn’t like his songs so she started eating him”

“Say Anything”, but John Cusack croaks.

The water pistol from Rudolph. Someone filled him with jelly and then acted like it was a personal flaw of his.

The water pistol that squirts jelly did not belong on the Island of Misfit Toys. Just stop filling him with jelly, you idiots.

This is the Mt. Rushmore that liberals want.

“I can go a week without Boogie Woogie Wednesday. But I’ll be *damned* if I’m missing crochet without a reasonable explanation.”

A photo of two signs taped to a library activity room’s door: “Sorry No Boogie Woogie Wednesday” and “Sorry No Crochet Today”

These truly are the worst of times.

See also:

Damn, Pantone sure pivoted quickly.

This is the face of a petulant toddler seeing another child successfully potty-train.