The Journal of Immaterial Science

We report the discovery of a pair of novel neurotransmitters, which are synthesised from dopamine and Cheese Supreme Doritos.

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We turned medicinal chemistry into a card game, which takes 3-10 years to play.

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We ranked all the “sea”-creatures we could think of by how much they resemble the land counterparts. In light of the wild inconsistencies we have uncovered, we recommend renaming some land animals in the name of fairness, eg. lions = landsharks.

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We disclose a method for exploiting a glitch in physics, allowing a 1989 Toyota Corolla to turn into an infinite matter generator.

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We report the *successful* testing of a mortar powered by sodium metal and water.

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YouTube video by NurdRage Platinum Recovery from Laboratory Chemical Waste (pt 1)

Failing that, does anyone know if @nurdrage.bsky.social 's excellent procedure for platinum recovery would translate to palladium without major issues?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeKZ...

Can anyone recommend a good procedure for recovering palladium from laboratory waste? The “boil it, burn it, wash it, aqua regia, concentrate” steps seem sensible enough, but some specifics would be really helpful.

Dark Matter Reveals Itself Through WIMP(y) Traces

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Analysing the Impacts of PI Separation and Exploring Methods for Adaptation and Persistence

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To Couple or Not to Couple: Bardic Inspiration in Organic Reactions

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An examination of various materials as surfaces to eat off, including wood, glass, metal, stone, fire, dirt and people.

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It would be really cool if some other groups did this too, and we could compare the colour palates of labs that work on dyes vs cross-coupling, or pyrroles vs sensible molecules. If someone has a spare 1 L roundbottom and time on their hands, one could make a model of Jupiter or Saturn from silica.

We collected the used silica from three months of columns and made an art installation with it.

We were inspired by one of our old J. Immat. Sci. articles on the Browning Index of chemical fuckery: www.reddit.com/r/Immaterial...

Volume 4 hardcopies are finally here, use the following links if you want to order some.

If you’re in Germany: www.patreon.com/c/immaterial...

If you’re anywhere else: immaterialscience.etsy.com

The Thermodynamics of Silence: Why Quiet People Emit a Cold Aura

Toward Slower, Less Accurate, More Expensive, and Worse
Density Functional Theory: A Natural-Stupidity-Assisted Method for Quantum Simulation

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Peer-Pressure Crystallisation: A Comprehensive Study

Geological Stratigraphy and Tectonics of Leftover Food in Laboratory Refrigerators: A Comprehensive Study

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Get more from The Journal of Immaterial Science on Patreon Satirical Scientific Papers

It should work everywhere except Germany (we’re still trying to figure out how to comply with the VerpackG packaging laws). If you’re in Germany, you can still get hardcopies the old way, via our Patreon page: www.patreon.com/c/Immaterial...

We finally got around to setting up online shop to sell our hardcopies. You should now be able to buy them for about $35 AUD, without any of that subscription bullshit we had with Patreon.

Here’s the link: www.etsy.com/au/shop/Imma...

An expedition into flatology:

Good to see someone remembers this ;)

Making a molecule shaped like a Möbius strip. @rad-scientist.bsky.social @totalsynthesis.bsky.social

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We report the total synthesis of labyrinthamine, one of the helleneamine class of supernatural products. Featuring the cisEPhos ligand and an endless catalytic cycle. Another most enjoyable collaboration with Phil Knutson and Sigma Aldrich.

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Volume 4 of J. Immat. Sci. is here! 88 pages of beer-reviewed bullshit, free to read and guaranteed to please. Massive thanks to the folks at @sciencebrush.bsky.social for preparing our cover art!

PDF (180MB): jabde.com/wp-content/u...