The Journal of Immaterial Science

Towards an Exact Formula for Superpermutation Length: Revisiting the Haruhi Problem

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/2025/haruhi

Have you ever wondered how types of scientific glassware got their names? This article tells the stories of men like La Marquis de Burette, Justus von Liebig and Jan Wółumétrič.

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Glassware....

Experimental Validation of Aggression Response in Hornet Colonies Following Direct Digital Insertion

PDF: immaterialscience.org/s/Hornets-re...

Statistical Proof That Binge-Watching VTubers Won’t Make You Happy (But Might Make You Fall In Love)

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/VTubers-GS...

Some Novel Necronuclear Mesospheric Mapping Methodology

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Nuclear-Su...

We measured the percentage of drivers who waved us while driving across a desert, and extrapolated some findings about vehicle choice and personal fulfilment.

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/2025/fingering

Wierdyellowmushroomycin: Towards Good, Natural Drugs Instead of Bad, Synthetic Drugs Full of Chemicals

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Mushrooms....

The 2025 Noble Prizes: A Year in Review

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/2025/noblepr...

The 2025 Noble Prize in Economics has been awarded to Elon Musk, for “saving ̶$̶2̶T̶ ̶$̶1̶T̶ ̶$̶2̶0̶6̶B̶ $32B in government spending”. By recognising that numbers in economics are basically pretend, musk has been able to maximise savings by moving a few decimal points around.

The 2025 Noble Prize for Peace has been awarded to Donald J. Trump for “for resolving protracted conflicts between Armenia and Azerbaijan, Israel and Iran, Switzerland and Bhutan, Sparta and Athens, and the Achaeans and Troy”.

BREAKING: The 2025 Noble Prize for Literature has been awarded to Humanity, "for creating millennia's worth of original content with which to train generative AI". With creativity finished, our painters and poets can now return to the workforce as useful things like tax lawyers.

Originally developed as surfactants and waterproofing agents, PFAS are now gaining popularity as carcinogens, mild contraceptives and drug-delivery vectors:

BREAKING: the 2025 Noble Prize in Chemistry has been awarded to DuPont, 3M and Daikin “for the development and deployment of PFAS: a family of infinitely sustainable chemicals”. As these now-ubiquitous chemicals never decompose, they can be reused for generations to come.

BREAKING: The 2025 Noble Prize in physics has been awarded to Xián Zhū Shǒu for “harnessing laser ablation and ultrasonic levitation to create a toaster with an ‘a bit less’ function". The ability to unburn toast will contribute far more to everyday life than gravitational waves.

BREAKING: The 2025 Noble Prize for Medicine has been awarded to RFK Jr. for “taking bold action to reduce life expectancies in the USA”. By undermining the health system, RFK Jr. has led the charge to combat the USA's aging population and prevent a pension crisis.

A Balanced, Nuanced, and Comprehensive Review of Scientific English and its Relevance to Modern Scholarship

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Scientific...

Why Are You So Fat?: A Kinetic Model of Weight Loss

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Fat-Kineti...

This is what happens when you use genetic engineering for good, rather than just making fruit flies with legs for eyes.

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Sex-Carrot...

From Lead To Gold – A Minireview

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/From-Lead-...

The Journal of Immaterial Science The Journal of Immaterial Science is an open-access, beer-reviewed scientific journal. The journal specialises in satirical, whimsical and frivolous papers from all areas of science, and possesses a ...

In case that link didn't work: www.immaterialscience.org

Hey everyone, it’s taken five years, but J. Immat. Sci. finally has its own website: immaterialscience.org. On it, you can find our our entire back-catalogue of articles (>140), links to buy hardcopies of our journals, the PDF versions, and our submission guidelines/templates.

The authors of this paper went above and beyond, and physically went to a mall to survey the public. Their question: do you like twizzlers?

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Twizzlers....

It’s that time of year again friends, and we want to hear your suggestions for the 2025 Noble Prizes in chemistry, physics, literature, medicine, peace and economics. Chuck your ideas in the comments.

Toward a Cosmologically Complete Astrology: Corrections Based on the Mapped Distribution of Dark Matter and Dark Energy

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/2025/astrology

YouTube video by The Journal of Immaterial Science The DPhil Team

We recorded a cover of Ed Sheeran's "The A Team". We rewrote this melancholy ballad, originally about homelessness and substance abuse, to reflect the experience of doing a PhD, and somehow made it even more depressing: www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQ7W...

A scientific explanation for a cat with two tails.

We report the discovery of a pair of novel neurotransmitters, which are synthesised from dopamine and Cheese Supreme Doritos.

PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...

We turned medicinal chemistry into a card game, which takes 3-10 years to play.

PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...

We ranked all the “sea”-creatures we could think of by how much they resemble the land counterparts. In light of the wild inconsistencies we have uncovered, we recommend renaming some land animals in the name of fairness, eg. lions = landsharks.

PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...