Chris Walton

I think that they removed Prince Andrew's "Duke of York" title because they don't like everyone spreading the rumour that he's had ten thousand men.

This is about £16 per hour. Minimum wage is £12.21 per hour for those aged over 21.

Here's me on stage at the Edinburgh fringe this weekend

See you at school Simon

Have you been to monsterkabinett yet?

Read the word "briefest" and thought for a second it was referring to a festival for the French cheese

bought a ticket to see my bloody valentine. I'm excited.

I took a sleep study test last night, which involves going to sleep wearing medical recording equipment. I had an anxiety dream that I'd managed to cheat on the test by having the best night's sleep of my life, which made me wake up early.

For valentine's day, someone should take that "roses are red, violets are blue" poem except change the words to be funny. I think there's a real missed opportunity for comedy there.

Just saw the Jesus Lizard. Can't believe I got to see the Jesus Lizard.

Just saw a crow perched on a sheep and wanted to let someone know

Amazon keep harassing me on Facebook. They want me to buy Chris Tarrant's millennium house party on CD.

Have you seen this goofball? He just can't catch a break lol!

I watched The Christmas Carol. I only caught the last 20 minutes, but basically it's about a guy who really loves Christmas and is really generous.

Saw a band that sounded like Jeremy from Peep Show

Congratulations Graham! 🥳 I hope you can improve your parking though...

I finally watched isle of dogs. The good dogs made me cry gently throughout.

I went to see "the boy and the heron" today. It really delivers on the promise of the title. There is absolutely a boy and a heron.

When Frosty the snowman waves goodbye saying "don't you cry, I'll be back again some day" that's apparently fine, but when I do it, it's "weird".

Pubs and bars should have menus. How am I supposed to imagine what drinks there are?

You have to stop and smell the flowers. This is a metaphor but also should be taken literally. The flowers smell nice.

I've just discovered my mum puts bananas in her bacon sandwiches. And her mother puts blackcurrant jam on her bacon and banana sandwiches. I never stood a chance.

It is the season (I have decided) to eat a lot of custard. I got a jam roland poland (underrated pudding). What else should I eat.

I like that there are no videos on bluesky. It means that i don't get inundated with "suggested" videos of people putting six eggs in every food.

Put download codes in your vinyl records! Cowards!

I love the pikmin and when I die I want them to feed my body in to a big onion.

I watched "the whale". The tagline says he's a recluse but he has more visitors in a week than I do in a year!

people

I went to Sunderland. I know the stereotype is that it isn't a nice place. That seems mostly true.