Simon Ritchie

[We see a close up of a young white male, tanned, white teeth, coiffed hair clearly an influencer on social media. It is an image such as you see when social media posts are shown on the news. In the corner of the screen is named a location: DUBAI. He is staring slightly off-camera for several silent panels of the comic strip. His eyes move slightly. He is having a thought.] From off-screen a newsreader’s commentary comes: NEWSREADER: Extraordinary images here of an expat in Dubai [The influencer’s eybrows raise slightly] …Having their first ever geopolitical thought. [CUT TO a BBC news scene. The BBC newsreader CLIVE MYRIE is talking to an interviewee next to the screen showing the social media influencer’s face. The interviewee’s name is David Jones]. CLIVE MYRIE: To explain the significance of this moment we’re joined by David Jones, our Expat Thoughts correspondent DAVID JONES: Clive, this is momentous It was caught on film at the end of an Instagram post titled: ‘Dubai Is Brilliant’. [Pointing at the screen, the influencer’s expression still the same] You can clearly see in the eyebrows here, the dawning realisation that there *might* be something in the world beyond his dickhead self. It marks a *huge* departure from all the Dubai Expat’s previous thoughts. CLIVE MYRIE: Which are…? DAVID JONES: You've Got To Get Yourself Out Here Mate, Everything Is So Clean, I Don't Have To Pay Taxes, I Am Incurious As To Why I Do Not Have To Pay Taxes, and Spa. CLIVE MYRIE: And might we see an expansion of these new Thoughts in coming days? DAVID JONES: I think we can expect to see: “I Deserve To Be Airlifted By A Country I Pay No Tax To” CLIVE MYRIE: Mmm. [Ends]

Yes & Back To The Egg IS a great album - not as good as Band on The Run but 2nd I’say in The Wings cannon … RAM was best solo I recks

Is there a decent pic or video of Matt Goodwin grimacing or bitching about his loss … I’d love to share it!

LinkedIn is a funny ol’ place innit?!

Have been on it a bit more in last 24 hours than I usually am & yeah … quite intriguing is all I’ll say for now (!)

Yes indeed! Fully plastered 🥴

Ha! I wish - I believe the process I’m about to undertake is called ‘misting’

There really are no redeeming features to Bobby Brown Bags are there!!

Procrastinating about painting

I keep meaning to plug this Miles Davis CD that comes with the current issue of @mojomagazine.bsky.social. One of the greatest comps I've had the pleasure of sticking to the front of the mag.

Good morning, NYC!

Weather: Temps ~30°

Snow Cleared: 7,398 crosswalks. 3,366 bus stops. 1,777 hydrants.

Ferries: Staten Island on regular schedule. NYC Ferries on adjusted schedule.

Outreach: Workers out 24/7 bringing people inside.

Roads: Open, but proceed with caution.

It may be Twin Peaks Day, but please also remember that it is Glasgow Willy Wonka Experience Day.

@gidcoe.bsky.social

True but Daily Express readers might care!

Quiz master Les Dennis asks contestant Nonce Andrew "We asked 100 people to name something you get on your birthday. You said arrested..."

Excellent work from the UK’s Leading Online Satirist!
👏😂✊😂👏

The US Department of Health and Human Services just released this video.

THE TAKING OF GENNEP. B. 14621. Even after a night of counter-attacks by the Germans and heavy shelling and mortaring, it is practically impossible to damp the humour and resourcefulness of the British soldier: remembering it was Shrove Tuesday, Pte. Fred (Sunny) Barton of 428 Bedford Hill, Balham S.W. got some flour (from somewhere) and a frying pan, and still complete in fighting kit, got on with the job of making pancakes. His only concession to cooking was a piece of rag around his middle, because, as he said with a twinkle in his eye, 'he didn't want to get messed up.' "C" Coy. 5th Black Watch, 153 Bde. 51 HD. Taken by Sgt. Silverside. 14.2.45. PASSED AS CENSOM/M

Shrove Tuesday, 1945, Pte. Fred (Sunny) Barton of Balham, 5th Black Watch, makes pancakes after the taking of Gennep, Germany. Photo: Sgt. Johnny Silverside, 14 February, 1945. Source: www.iwm.org.uk/collections/...

How Soon Is Flour?

I can hear Mark E. Smith cackling & ranting from the Heavens (or maybe down there) at the new Yard Act tune!

Is this not enuff to have him excluded from the By-election no?

Thanks Steve!!

Try Auphonic it’s rarely failed me x

Was it Auphonic?

Don't spend a fortune on megastars like Gregg Wallace for your Cameo Valentine's videos when you can book me! www.cameo.com/thejaseguitar

Incredible Account Here! Pls read!

Ireland’s basic income for the arts scheme becomes permanent When piloted, initiative that provided €325 a week to eligible artists recouped more than its net cost, study shows

Gee, Universal Basic Income recoups more than it costs AND the recipients are happier and healthier.

Hmmm. Where have I seen those results before? Oh yes, in every other goddam pilot study of UBI for more than a decade. Ireland joins Finland in at least making a start.

It also needs to be added that when Boris Johnson resigned and plotted to topple Theresa May, Bannon said he advised him on his opening gambit — the nasty Islamophobic column about Muslim women looking like letterboxes and bank robbers

bylinetimes.com/2019/10/10/a...

Useless C**t Councillor you say?

The Sumshit is so bad it’s worth watching?

The first Ep just about …