Brad Desmond

The best goals are psychology goals.

This year..

Less oversharing – Not everyone with ears is your friend.
Less inner critic. – speak as kindly to yourself as you do others.
Less ‘people pleasing’ - No one respects a doormat.

What else?

I know it's fashionable to reject New Year's resolutions. But it’s still a good idea to adopt better habits. And if you start now, a few days early, you give yourself a head start for 2026.

Sending hugs to anyone feeling the pressure to be happy today. You are fine, just as you are.

Time off is great. But if you need the holidays to 'recharge', your job is slowly killing you.

This Christmas protect yourself from gaslight. Value your reality over their arguments.

Food is a great metaphor. Like picking and choosing at a buffet, I connect with some people and walk past others. I decide.

Double down on mental health.

Improve gut health, sleep, exercise, time with loved ones, pampering, mindfulness and gratitude. Create safety, and routine and find some meaningful activity.

Self-care is everything. Don't leave it to chance.

Australia has now banned social media for all kids under 16. I can already feel their mental health improving.

The best parenting tip is the one nobody wants to hear.

- 'Your kids will ignore everything you say, and copy everything you do.'

When I accept I can't change anyone, I can listen more deeply.

Upon being heard, the person discovers their truth; they grow and change.

Such an awesome contradiction.

In his book “The Road Less Travelled." Scott Peck warns against 'Cheap Forgiveness.' That is, forgiving others too easily to avoid the painful feelings associated with the hurt done to us. This actually blocks healing.

Do you agree?

Elon Musk wanting more money shows money never gives long-term fulfilment. He’s like an addict getting a fix, and thinking of the next one.

Do you feel guilty when you look away from the unpleasant things happening in the world right now?

“You don’t need to be famous. You don’t need to be flawless. You only need to show up — fully — for the life that is still yours.” - Patricia Routledge:

Beyond the red flags..don't miss the good stuff.

Ouch.!

"When I look at the world collectively I’m pessimistic, but when I meet with individuals I am optimistic."

- Carl Rogers.

Dear ABC.

The world just saw one of your employees verbally attacked by the world's most powerful man. Please check that he is okay. And don't just tick a box. Actually support him and reaffirm his job security.

The problem is our simplistic, black and white thinking. Two things can be true at once. Empathy AND compassion make better people.

'Don't hold back. The more unlived your life, the greater your death anxiety.'

- Irvin D. Yalom

‘Empathy’ is not a new age term.

Empathy comes from the Greek for emotional involvement. Empathy was found by humanistic therapists to be catalyst for growth and therapeutic change. Empathy makes better therapists, partners, parents, friends and leaders.

We need more empathy.

I never met a happy racist. Accepting diversity is a parallel process to self-acceptance. People either develop both, or neither.

How do we encourage people to grow out of racism?

The sound of gaslight.

That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did…
You deserved it.

With so much ugliness in the world, deliberate distraction is legitimate self-care.

“Denial can be healthy if it allows time for the individual to absorb harsh realities gradually.”

- George Vaillant.

'How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.'

- Wayne Dyer.

A lot of gaslighting goes unnoticed. If you are suddenly side-tracked, confused or explaining yourself you’ve been gaslit.

It helps when I remember the universe is under no obligation to provide me with only good experiences.

I have clients who like to discuss their issues with AI in between sessions, and often they receive great insights and feedback. Then they can't wait to tell me about it thus showing, at the end of the day, we humans will always prefer humans.

If you want your partner to be submissive you aren’t ready for a grown-up relationship.