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Mr Fanta Pants

@mrfantapants.bsky.social

Not totally useless, but not far off. Not dumb enough to think that Starbucks is ever acceptable. Take me seriously at your own peril.

1,065 Followers  |  632 Following  |  5,099 Posts  |  Joined: 26.06.2023
Posts Following

Posts by Mr Fanta Pants (@mrfantapants.bsky.social)

Second job offer is in.

03.03.2026 00:23 — 👍 5    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

So a water cremation is off the table?

02.03.2026 11:03 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Are you currently making midget porn with him?

02.03.2026 10:43 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Disappointed you didn't leave with a 2 litre bottle of vodka, 2kg jar of Metamucil, a diamond ring, a swim spa, and a coffin.

02.03.2026 10:42 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Thank you!

02.03.2026 09:29 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

I'm not fucking around!!

02.03.2026 09:29 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
Post image 02.03.2026 09:15 — 👍 24    🔁 6    💬 0    📌 0

Just got my first job offer and hopefully another one later this week.

02.03.2026 08:54 — 👍 12    🔁 0    💬 3    📌 0

I fucking wish.

01.03.2026 08:04 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

FFS. I want to unsubscribe from sportsball, please.

01.03.2026 07:49 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
You Oughta Know 38th Annual Grammy Awards
YouTube video by schaeon warren You Oughta Know 38th Annual Grammy Awards

30 years ago since one of the greatest performances at the Grammys ever.

youtu.be/L4t5H1qVW74?...

01.03.2026 06:47 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
Post image 01.03.2026 06:12 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

There's far more interesting things than overpaid brain dead meatheads who throw a ball at each other.

01.03.2026 05:53 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

When does this footy bullshit end?!

01.03.2026 05:41 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 3    📌 0

It's looking pretty bloody green, considering how neglected it has been.

01.03.2026 01:04 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Not sure if that's a good thing or not 😅

01.03.2026 00:14 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Now what's a flashback

28.02.2026 23:58 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

I want another one but I've gotta drive an hour and a quarter back up to my foster mum's place after I have brunch with a friend.

28.02.2026 23:35 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Want me to come mow yours?
Mine hasn't been done in a month and it's wet, so it's not the best job.

28.02.2026 23:20 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0
Post image

Cheers cunts!

28.02.2026 23:19 — 👍 6    🔁 0    💬 3    📌 0
Post image

It looks like shit but at least I got it mowed before it started raining again. Now it's time for that margarita!!

28.02.2026 23:12 — 👍 10    🔁 0    💬 3    📌 0

Is it too early for a margarita?

28.02.2026 21:46 — 👍 4    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0

As the great @alanismorissette.bsky.social once sung: 🎶Someone help me find the pause button🎶

28.02.2026 06:34 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

The children at the other end of the paddock need to be introduced to some good old fashioned drugs. It's not a party if you're just running around your property screaming at the top of your lungs all night. Also, it's upsetting the dogs.

27.02.2026 12:18 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Yeah it's all a bit fucked

27.02.2026 10:19 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Well that's a relief!!

27.02.2026 09:43 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

I thought you were going to tell us she didn't know you use dim sims as butt plugs. Well isn't this just a relief!

27.02.2026 09:25 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Definitely basic gay face. Everyone has fucked that hole.

27.02.2026 09:15 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Send a pic of him

27.02.2026 09:03 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

I'm upset the reason hasn't lasted longer 😔

27.02.2026 08:54 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0