SheriffBananas

You gals ever open your phone photos in public and there’s a picture of YOUR FUCKING TITS prominently displayed in your most recents for the world to behold? Yeah me neither

Instead of saying “Shit goes hard” I’m now saying “Shit goes boner hard”

In the time it took me to edit a video the U.S. has bombed Iran. Can’t wait to see what happens when I go take a shit later.

There’s a guy in front of me on this flight watching the Hobbit movies. Lol what a fucking dumbass, can you imagine bingeing that over LOtR while trapped in a tube with a bunch of stinky babies holy shit. Literally the only way to make a plane ride worse.

We fuckin made it boys

I’ll grab ones ass and see where that gets me

The seatbelt light is back on and I think I’m gonna snap

Ok guys I smell coffee again and I can see the sky and the seat belt light turned off please pray for me that I get this fucking Coke

If they are I’m gonna start punching myself in the face until my blood covers this window like a decorative blind

At what temperature do the balls sneak away?

Also shout out to Debra idk who the fuck you are but you’re a real one

Thank you god damnit I really needed this

I’m also thinking the turbulence and lack of Coca Cola in my hand was all planed, hence the free WiFi, but hey yall hate conspiracies so I’ll keep my mouth shut

I’m on a plane and they gave me WiFi for free for some fuckin reason so I figured I’d download this app since I, too, am in the sky.