proton

Finally, I can do the hot thing from the movies where you kiss and inhale the smoke from someone else’s cigarette as the exhale

That does sound pretty funny

???

Oh that’s good, nothing to catch up on

So what’s happened here since I’ve been gone?

A glowing white giant silhouette, Adam, on a smoky black and grey background as seen through the broken window frame of a ship during the Second Impact from the anime, Neon Genesis Evangelion

Me on my way to eat mozzarella from the fridge

Sorry I keep forgetting to post over here but I am alive

Oh, this could be a game changer

Crying emoji with its hands in the air in despair

They didn’t have an Amtrak hoodie in my size

Your day might be going well but are you in a train station listening to Belinda Carlisle’s “Heaven Is a Place on Earth”

in sancre tor soul trapping some blades

To the tune of 4′33″:

Uhhhh, rate limited?

I know it may look that way to the untrained eye, but I was here the whole time, actually. Silently watching. judging.

I am NOT just here because the other app is busted

Everywhere should have the commute and amenities index of a dense college campus

I hate having a cold, what do you mean I’m incredibly thirsty yet have too much saliva?

Comic strip panel of a guy sitting up after lying down on the couch saying “oh shit, for real!”

I wasn’t feeling good, but now I got a beer 😎

Having to explain to my parents what a “podcast live show” is, this is so embarrassing

Pro tip: if you go to sleep all your problems go away for a while

Screenshot of a Facebook group called “TRUE NUDISTS” with the button to join the group. It states it is a public group with 41.1K members

Well it wasn’t going to be a private group I guess

Great minds

Gonna go home eat culvers and jack offf

Do you still have the old screen setup?

Umm. You seem to be missing the obvious option of “fuck”

Do you need to be confirmed to be elected pope? Asking for a friend

I figured it said “died at 88” or he just scored two fat ladies at bingo

A screenshot of a Japanese news account saying that the pope had died at 88 years old. I can’t tell you what the rest says because I do not speak Japanese.

My phone thinks I live in Japan so this is how I found out