Tim Peen

Dude this shit is gorgeous. Thank you

Please do

There’s someone special in Toronto hoping you’ll come (it’s me, I’m special)

I’m getting word from the Jews that the new pope needs to get his own kind of hat

“Early bird gets the worm”

What the fuck I want a worm for?

Girl it’s literally your fault

If you give him even more money he will afford McDonald and die

Apparently actually you can’t. Apparently actually they are even allowed to call the police if you “threaten to hurt” them.i

I just realized that I can be as rude as I want to my doctor and legally he still has to help me.

I guess I don’t know my own limits haha

I just drank so much water that I pissed

Why is everyone so quick to assume his brain worm isn’t smart?

I’m more willing to believe Lindsey Graham isn’t gay than believe he’s a power top

I slipped on the ice!

A good day to be alive

Why aren’t people doing something about this?

So there is a light at the end of this tunnel after all

I may have lost the word argument, but I win the argument of who gets their toothbrush rubbed in my ass

The wine must be earned

Might as well swallow a bag o rocks

There’s too much fucking shit in my ass!

I heard it’s from eating too many cheestos

I’m just going to touch it a little bit

Too unsophisticated for me

Well said

I now trust AI Peter Griffin more than Reddit comments

Giving the Epstein list on school binders is dirty work

Gonna start saying Dan instead of Damn

Just got fired for “too much sexual activity at work”

Life feels a little better knowing masturbating counts as sexual activity

Me whispering to my friend:

I have always loved you