i like to think of the kitchen as the “food zone,” because it’s where you store your food, it’s where you cook your food, and depending on your layout it might be where you eat your food. at first i was annoyed that this wasn’t getting any engagement but then i realized that i hadn’t posted it yet

when I'm Sonic the Hedgehog and I walk into my kitchen

@alanedgehead.bsky.social review when?

Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, the camera matrix-style swings 180 degrees making clear what kind of move I was trying to do]

A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live. "This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario." The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?" NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD." Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version." PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."

A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"

Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not

No Kings includes Draft Kings

Dana Carvey from Waynes World with the caption "He Does this every Friday."

He does this every Friday.

Rogue from X-Men

Cammy White 🐈 apparently it's her birthday, too 🍰

Happy New year and Happy Birthday Juri Han 🥳🎉

caught a hundo in pokemon go today and named it after a tree from the best christmas movie of all time

Idk if this is the quintessential Onion headline but I've thought of this at least once a week for almost a decade

I got so stoned at a Mets game once I compared the Jumbotron to the top screen of a Nintendo DS bc it had “a bunch of useful contextual information” and the field to the bottom screen bc “it’s where the game is actually played”

Pelican
(2022)

I can't believe we finally have Mother 4

The best way I can think of to celebrate Rare's 40th is to release Viva Pinata 2 on PC.

Cinema is back folks #FantasticFour

A quickie. Had to draw Chunners in this before I left for my trip.

Maxi-me: I'm only having one croissant

The croissant 👇

Other people: "Why do we need another Jurassic World movie? The last one was trash"

Me seeing the spinosaurus with the latest scientifically accurate tail:

Brian Wilson, singer-songwriter who created the Beach Boys, dies at 82 His early hits — “Surfer Girl,” “I Get Around,” “All Summer Long,” “Help Me, Rhonda” and “California Girls” — evoked a fantasy world of fast cars, beautiful youth, eternal surf and sunshine on an imm...

Breaking news: Brian Wilson, the founder of the Beach Boys, whose catalogue of hits includes “I Get Around,” “Don’t Worry Baby” and “California Girls," has died at 82.

giant snorlax plushie in the back of a pickup truck

giant snorlax plushie in the back of a pickup truck

gf’s dad saw this big guy out in the wild yesterday, strapped in all safe and sound 😴

PUNKS FOR PALESTINE 2025 FUNDRAISER from NØ MAN PUNKS FOR PALESTINE 2025 FUNDRAISER from NØ MAN

nomanband.bandcamp.com/merch/punks-...

That's right

Emma Frost - Marvel Rivals

wife: how was guarding the two paths today, honey?

guard: [looking away] fine

wife: did something happen?

guard: [tearing up] no

wife: would the other guard tell me something happened?