Tori

it's not enough anymore.

if this were on main this tweet would go off fuck

i think i finally have a more mortifying secret than "i'm still in love with my ex, again", and it's "i'm literally 30 years old and i am playing the new cod"

sio asked me to promise i wouldn't kill myself and i couldn't even respond lol lmao

the algorithm's a little confused but it's got the spirit

how does the algorithm find me like this. i've literally interacted with one post on this account ever and it wasn't even horny

i do feel a little bad that you see these posts (yes you hi again maria), if you mute me i'm not gonna judge. but also if i'm gonna depressionpost there's a non-zero chance it's gonna be about missing you, i know you don't use bsky too much, and. ok i mostly don't wanna make and use a fourth account

not sobbing randomly anymore, and i'm actually able to do things today, but also man i wish i could kill myself

feeling emotionally stable but in the same way that one could call a jenga tower with only one or two blocks supporting the base "stable"

too scared to kill myself so i'll let alcohol and malnutrition do the job for me

i live for others because if i lived for myself i would have been dead years ago. lowkey wish i were lol

i wish i had a reason to live for myself. for a good long while now, any time i've wanted to die, my mind has floated to sio, maria, or even my mom. but it's never for my own sake, probably because frankly there isn't anything worth anything within me.

it's like. i've made, unmade, then remade my peace with not being in a romantic relationship, i guess would like it but it's a pipe dream, but fuck if i could grab past and slap her, maybe i could still have had a normal friendship instead of having to hide maria and still pretending i hate her

sio: i do still love bridgette, but it just couldn't work. you never realize what's wrong in a relationship until you're looking back at it years later

me biting my lip, trying not to talk about maria and now fully realizing what happened between us but not being able to do shit about it: Haha Yeah

i say this as genuinely as i can, with no underlying passive aggression or resentment: i wish i could get over you as easily as you got over me

another day, another ideation of me going in the dish pit and cutting my throat open, praying i either die or irreparably damage my voice box

anyway you ever realize you're in your biggest depressive slump since 2019 and you don't know how you can stop it

using this as a private account because it's the only place i can really vent. sorry if you see this maria, last thing i wanted in your dms was your ex feeling sorry for herself