Deafeningfestivalpaper 🎉

I’m sorry Papineau 😔 I’m not cut out for being a janitor (at least not there)

Ermm uhh I just quit my job due to my coworkers being shits (making fun of me, gossiping, what did i expect working at a salon looking like i do?) so im probably not going to be posting any writing for awhile while i job hunt. Unfortunate! *bashing myself in head with hammer*

I trained my weenier dog to do so many fucking tricks, playing dead among them.

NOW whenever he doesn’t want to do another trick (spin, sit, etc) he just flops onto the ground and starts dying. Like brother 😭😭 Not what I meant

I am quivering like a dog with a treat on its nose

Also the winning results of that Morton height poll I posted on tumblr were GARBAGE!!! MORTONS SHORTER THAN SAM!! MORTONS SHORTER THAN- *being dragged back to psych ward*

I need to fuck that goddamn hoarder so bad I need him limping and unable to walk and i want that cricket pregnant STAT. I am so fucking horny but I am so fucking burnt out at the same time 😭😭

Uhh Naked Sam being touched by fully clothed Morton?? I need those old men

My w work. I have been up all night doing my work *loooks longfuly at personal writing laptop…*

Life has a way of not only kicking your nuts, but grabbing and twisting them. And NOT in the fun way!!

I’m fine with either junk for either party, but I prefer Sam with a dick and Morton with a pussy, because I love protecting onto my favs lmao

Ermm uhh how about Sam/morton with heats/ruts, overstimulation, and multiple orgasms?? I need Sam to rail that cricket into oblivion I beg/silly

엘리베이터
#lookoutside

I haven’t gone shopping in AGES plus I tear up that bread as soon as I get it, there is no fucking way I just had that previously?? And it was smack fucking dab in the middle of my head pantry??? Right fucking there?? Peace and love holy shit

Bitch. I was thinking ‘hmm.. I wish I had bread’ because I knew I didn’t have the bread I liked in my pantry, then I was like yeah, sure, I’ll shift to a reality where I do have the bread as a joke, but when I went to my pantry I had a loaf of the fucking bread?? Right there???

I JUST SHIFTED TOR THE FIRST TIME?? FOR THE STUPIDEST REASON????

👯‍♀️ He's real goddammit 👯‍♀️
#freakoutside

Only just realizing I spelt that wrong 😔 for fucks sake

another great idea from ME!!

Me coming up with new fic ideas to add to the fifteen other wips I have:

Its everything I’ve ever dreamed of oh my god

GO READ THIS. GO READ THIS NEOOWWWW!!!/silly

tumblr post transcript nicejewishguy: I'm finally gonna reveal my fetish- it's love jiqqler: mike you're into piss and we all know it

good evening everybody

HAHA I WAS SHOWING MY PHONE TO A FAMILY MEMBER WHEN A NOTIFICATION APPEARED WITH THIS SHOWING LMAOO

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Hey. What’s up guys- *I am shot in the head* #freakoutside

I am so fucking fr it’s been three in game days and this motherfucker won’t come back 😭 I keep getting kill screens whenever he murders something and it’s getting in the way, ED-E please

ED-E is such a nice companion to have in new Vegas, up until he’s literally halfway across the map on a one-bot mission to literally exterminate each and every damn centaur from the Mohave. Babygirl please come back me and Boone miss you 😭😭

OHHH BABY

Would Morton burrow. Are crickets burrowing insects

At one point I think I called him John but that was more accidental due to sleep deprivation than legit making fun of Morton

Me and my boyfriend moron the cricket. Going out with mort the Baptist. Etc etc