MrRees

Mackenzie Crook’s rural dreamscape #Detectorists published by #PenguinBooks (and its offshoots) down the years. 🧵
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The one on our estate has been a boon and not at all a curse

I saw Alan Moore buying a bath bomb in Lush in Northampton

When I was a weekend supermarket assistant, Judy Carne asked me if we had any drinking straws

I saw Alan Moore buying a bath bomb in Lush in Northampton

When I was 18 and worked as a assistant at the supermarket, Judy Carne asked me if we had any drinking straws.

Giving myself a groin strain stalling my car as I tried to keep foot on clutch and reach under car without stopping engine when coins bounced out of coin basket at M25 toll booth. Foot slipped. Car stalled. Groin strained. Had to get another coin for the toll fee anyway. Lose lose.

“Meant paedo not poof”

@bbcnewsnight.bsky.social please stop this gobshite and let the other speak

I’d demand to be put back under again

Lol

Got “The Shining” on right now and, oh…

@scarredforlife.bsky.social Andy Pandy on BBC4 right now. I didn’t remember it as being so sinister. Unnatural jerky movements, fixed glazed expressions, Looby Lou, painted backgrounds, the faux Edwardian picture book end credits. Maybe it’s just me looking at the series I saw as a small child.

I didn’t realise JD Vance was in “You Only Live Twice”, denying his government’s involvement in interfering with the space programme.

When they have the Dead Ringers lot on #newsnight doing impressions when they are asked a question on something, it really makes my piss itch

George and Olivia Harrison meet Ronnie Barker, 1991

Owls don’t give a shit about your wet liberal values #springwatch

I’ll walk out if they don’t

Saipan incident makes sense now

Leg-breaker? Egg-breaker, more like!

Love this, the social media equivalent of going in two-footed tackle, studs first, getting up, walking to the changing room, not even bothering to look back at the red card.

Shove twenty eight eggs up your shit tube, you eggy cunt

A composite image of my own shoddy creation featuring a picture of a then young Dame Joan Collins (now in her 90s) and a busty glamour model. The image has been heavily filtered and cropped so you cannot see anything below the hint of cleavage. She holds on her face a quizzical look (that may have been sexy at the time the photo was taken) and the words “Joanie’s thought of the day” are written below.

“Sure, Star Wars is fun.
But Chewbacca must have an absolute skip fire for an arsehole. Imagine trying to clean that up after a big post-takeaway poo, clumps of hair matted together, then he sits on the bloody chairs!
Absolutely fucking ghastly.”

“There’s only one way to find out: CONCLAVE!!!”

Milei looks like a 70’s Welshman who passed out drunk on his nephew’s stag do in Brynamman RFC & mysteriously woke up in the Vatican

CONCLAVE!!

There’s a bloke on Gardener’s world talking about cromosmias, and he looks like Ozzy Osborne

I’m saying this in my capacity as an author and once and future library worker:

Read whatever the hell you want.

I cannot impress enough on you that the “important” books aren’t important if you don’t jive with them. The popular books, the canon, the whatever. Read what you want.

Great. Off you pop.