Elsa Trincadassa

What broke the website I’ve been neglecting because I’m overextended, hopped up on drugs and don’t really know what I’m doing in the first place?

Foreign actors, of course

[sees beautiful woman] call me Burger King way I’m gonna Court Her Pound Her [God smacks an asteroid directly at me using a giant pool cue]

Charlie the dog, not entirely convinced I am real and not a ghost

Home and absolutely exhausted from travel. Charlie appears vaguely surprised I am still alive.

telling hot women who want to fuck me that the easiest way into my bed is to buy me a double cheeseburger, then eating the borger really fast and sending them home before sex time because tummy hort, in a scam to simply eat more burger

Can’t believe Twitter keeps crashing despite Elon hiring the best 19-year-old interns that racism has to offer

The Windows bit is so true.

At work I close a spreadsheet, then I change my mind and reopen it: "locked by another user". Yeah, that'd be me. I swear the computer actually has dementia.

In Linux god is dead because no one created the drivers for the specific aspect of god you are trying to use

In MacOS god is dead because you as the user are a false god.

In Windows god is dead because some other diety is using that file atm and no one gives a shit what you want while it does.

re the previous repost: if they can disappear permanent residents they can disappear citizens

it's called throwback because if you recognize the songs you're likely to throw out your back. not many people know this

Pioneering new ways to be irritated by the time change (broke coffee maker trying to reset clock)

anyone else ever feel like a bug on it's back most days

My lower back is the target of a massive and sophisticated cyberattack

transitioning is all about your answer to "if u had a superpower what would it be?" going from "shapeshifting!" to "i wish i could explode peoples heads at will"

the problems is todays 20 year olds didnt have to spend hours playing marvel nemesis rise of the imperfects at a friends house as kids because its all they had

I turn 27 next week but in my head I’m only 19

a sign on a window with the words “all cars must pay”

they know what they did

elon has zero products that work

just found the strangest pivot of all time

the wave of disco elysium successors and imitators are all destined to fail because everyone involved refuse to acknowledge that that game arose out of bizarre circumstances that can never be recreated - nothing will ever have that juice again

found in the wild

Just read this graf. Share it with people you know who don’t pay attention to politics or news.

It took seeing adult bullies to understand that my childhood bullies didn’t even really want to hurt me, they just wanted to feel powerful and how I felt about it wasn’t even in the equation.

I can’t imagine someone not outgrowing that, but apparently it happens quite a lot!

i love holding real news in my hands

You: Oh my god the house is on fire!

Me (wise, has read books): And you're surprised? Houses have been on fire before [as the flames consume us both] Furthermore,

looks like its lid up

i think it will be fun to work through this list before ninja gaiden 4. getting as much context as possible before it inevitably disappoints everyone