Lauren Chesnut

The pain of existence lol

Genocide (obvi), calling an awkward, poorly-replicated series of movements a "dance" for TikTok, corporate malfeasance, too many creative "y"s in baby names, racism!!, Bratz dolls

Disaster capitalism, high-waisted jeans, the cult I grew up in, "Is Diet Pepsi okay?," 21st century Joe Rogan, data-driven results

Wars, transphobia, seafood, the dismantling of any government program that helps people, the TV show "Friends"

Just to be clear, I am and have always been and will always be Against It.

Would love for future alien visitors to find my bones* and be like, "Human female, LOTS of dental work, no significant physical labor, so much vodka?"

*Humanity is cooked

For ease, I would like to be cremated when I die.

However, all I do is read and consume media about skeletons (murder, archaeology, medical history, etc.), so maybe I should have myself entombed somewhere cool. Or donate this meat pile to science.

An off-white tea towel hanging in front of an oven that says "FUCK ICE, EAT PIZZA" in blue writing

In THIS HOUSE we BELIEVE

If this is true, explain still-living Zak Bagans, who has yelled "Bro!" at/near so many ghosts

Support public television 👏🏻 Get drunk 👏🏻 Feed your inner 10 year-old who was obsessed with archaeology

Everything is a nightmare, I am not doing enough, but I did remember I support my local PBS station and can watch as many episodes of "Secrets of the Dead" as I want in the app.

I'm an 8 mixed with 10

I became a cheerleader in 8th grade and was voted captain.

Watching another commercial for some completely pointless AI add-on: "Why do you want a robot to lie to you?!"

When you leave (drunk) voicemails for your senators, it's important to emphasize, "It's a NIGHTMARE. We're living in a NIGHTMARE."

I slept double digit hours and it's sunny and I am singing in my house and yet, I still hate it Here.

I contain multitudes.

"American innovation" now refers to making a kind of atrocity cronut by combining insider trading with war crimes.

Blowing things up, kidnapping and killing foreign leaders, is good because it's Doing. Considering the consequences of Doing would be Thinking, which is weak and woke

David Lynch saying ‘One day, the sadness will end. But I don’t think today’s the day.’

Put more birdseed on yours

You're not doing boric acid marinades?

If the right has SUCH an issue with gender markers on IDs, they should take them off of IDs and passports entirely. Why do we even need them?

Their obsession with terrorizing trans people is so absolutely insane.

Carb slab
Melty cheese
Carb slab

^my deity

Oh, yeah, my wagon is totally powered by AI. It’s using the hell out of it. I actually need a lot of investment, if you have, like, $300. You do? Yeah, I’m using it so much.

you got AI in there?

Minneapolis isn't an especially sweary place but there are so many houses that have homemade "FUCK ICE" signs and I've had multiple conversations with parents about how we're okay with our kids using that word in this context because sometimes it IS okay to swear and this is one of those times.

My kingdom for

No notes, child correct

is life just a series of days where you're tired in the afternoon and wide awake at night, running behind on weekly deadlines, and seeing pants get slim and big and then slim again over the years until you die?

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Beanmaxxing