Lauren Chesnut

A lymphatic brush for your soul

Officially Too Old to Approve of "Crash Out" Replacing "Freakout" in the Nomenclature Years Old

Bryant Lake Bowl Theater Your favorite sketch group is back with another all-new, all-fun sketch comedy show! November 7, 8, and 9, come see Ladybrain tackle hot-button issues like ugly oil paintings, soup in a bag, undead ki...

If you desire to watch a maggot puppet contributing to an anti-necrophilia rap (among many other absurd premises), Sunday at 7 at the BLB is your last chance! www.bryantlakebowl.com/theater/whre...

Oh shit, existing is a trauma response.

UPDATE: finishing off the egg bake now, which is DELICIOUS

I believe this publication still exists, but TBH, the most fun I ever had with a kids' magazine was submitting joke prompts to the American Girl Magazine advice column.

I did one (1) google, and I am now reminded that the presentation board was FLANNEL. Somebody somewhere regrets the error.

Oh my god, the spectrum of velcro-based Biblical and Book of Mormon characters!! It was a beautiful visual aid-based understanding of religion that served on puppetry

No one ever expressed appreciation for the extra effort I put into casting laminate/Velcro figures into Book of Mormon storylines.

It's almost like showmanship wasn't important.

You may have heard Mormons have a Family Night every Monday. But the cornerstone of this event involves a religious "lesson" presented by a family member.

Once every six weeks I got to present a killer felt board drama to my family based on an article from "The Friend" (the magazine for LDS kids).

I had a dozen eggs about to expire tomorrow and just put an egg bake in the oven using all of them. TAKE THAT, GROCERY GREMLINS!*

*Grocery gremlins talk you into buying a big thing of greens or 12 eggs or something else perishable that you won't use quickly enough.

It does feel good, though!

I reserve real emotion for things that don't matter. I can't process constant fascist police actions against innocent people, so I hold it all in until soccer.

Yeah, I'm an introvert. I hate crowded places unless I am performing onstage in front of them.

The local Walgreens classified energy drinks as soda (not supplements or whatever), so I could use SNAP to keep me caffeinated. Thank the Sexy Gay Jesus.

I had SNAP benefits as a masters student in Ohio 2009-10. It was a huge hassle to actually obtain them, they were almost more than I needed as a single person who barely likes eating, but also ruled?

No, YOU constructed a maggot puppet for a comedy sketch and still need to record a rap song for said sketch because you are two score and two years old and act like it.

Me, driving down Summit Avenue and looking at the preak autumn leaves, "Oh, fuck off! Get the fuck out of here!"

It is a crime that I own a tiny dog who hates wearing clothes. I would put her in a different costume every day of October if I could. I bet it would cure my depression and dismantle the whole fascio-capitalist hellscape we live in. Through cuteness.

I am 42 years old and made myself sick by eating too much soup tonight. DAMA (don't ask me anything). I clearly have no idea how to be a fucking person.

I turned mine on last night. 😔

A SKALATON WONDRING WHY ANY ONES STILL USING "DA NAZI BAR" IF THERE NOT ENJOYING ALL DA RIGHT WING BULL SHIT IN THERE, IF YOU ROOTED AROUND IN THE PORTOPOTTY EVERY DAY LOOKEN FOR TURDS AND SAID IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO SAY THE TURDS ARE BAD, I DONT THINK ANY ONE WOULD BELIEVE YOU, AT THE END OF THE DAY IF YOU GOT SHIT UP TO YOUR ELBOW'S YA GOTTA ADMIT THAT YOU LOVE THE SMELL, ANY WAY A SKELATON IS AT SELF CHECK OUT AND THINKEN ABOUT MOVING ITEMS AROUND IN THE CORECT ORDER, EVERY LEVEL OF CAPTALISM IS ABOUT PAYING AS LITTLE OUT TO LABOR AS POSSIBLE, EVEN THO ITS MORE FUN TO SHOP WITHOUT TALKING TO ANY ONE IT WAS A SIGN THAT THE RULING CLASS WOULD RATHER PAY TWICE AS MUCH TO BUY A COMPUTER THAN TO HIRE A WORKER, ITS CLASS WARFARE AND IF YOU AINT FIGHTING THEM YOUR LOSING, ANY WAY DA TEXT SAYS "LOL IF YOUR USING TWITTER IN 2025, IF I WANTED TO BE YELLED AT BY A BOT I WOULD MOVE ITEMS TO THE BAGGING AREA WITHOUT SCANNIGN THEM "- DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

LOL - dashare.zone ADMIN

I don't do stand-up, was not invited to the Riyadh Comedy Festival, and yet feel like I can take a moral victory lap* for not going there.

*A lap I wouldn't legally be allowed to make in a car there!

Oops, it me, shopping at Barnes & Noble instead of Amazon, like I'm part of the Resistance

Setting aside a decade+ of cruel childhood bullying, we have diametrically opposed worldviews as adults, and yet... we are samesies

My worst sibling sent me an objectively delightful birthday gift: a plush dino-shaped chicken nugget.

Can't believe they're holding this @timbers.com game at Providence Park amidst The War.

Dad said nothing of terrorist activity around the Costco by the airport they usually go to. Must've slipped his mind.

My mom is always looking for bargains, I feel like she would have said something about having to dodge IEDs on her way to Clackamas Town Center.

Saddened to learn the city of my birth (Portland, Oregon) is currently a war zone. My parents live safely across the Columbia River in Washington, but it is kind of weird they didn't mention any wars when I talked to them the other day.

Love too be weeknight drunk