Modern Loss

I wore an "I Cry at Work" shirt to SXSW Also: readers share intimate COVID-19 stories, Beck's loss-y vibes, and we're a Substack bestseller 💙

⭐️ My SXSW grief & wellness Substack roundup is out with my favorite encounters/event —like @alokvmenon & the new Marc Maron doc, “Are We Good?” Plus, a wide-ranging, intimate view of how the pandemic has shaped our @modernloss.bsky.social community’s lives. open.substack.com/pub/modernlo...

🎧 A grieftastic playlist just for you Songs from the community to reflect and remember; plus, leave me alurn.

🎧 New Substack is up 🎧 In which I share our collaborative playlist (which you can still add to!), some choice SNL grief skits, and how I’m hopping onto the quiet self-care wagon (hint: it involves a little Tony Soprano and a lot of Steven Van Zandt). open.substack.com/pub/modernlo...

Tennessee Williams quote: “The world is violent and mercurial--it will have its way with you. We are saved only by love--love for each other and the love that we pour into the art we feel compelled to share: being a parent; being a writer; being a painter; being a friend.”

When everything feels overwhelming, direct the love you have into someone — or something — that is better off for having received it. 💙💛

Chemo Stole My Dad's Hearing. Then, My Daughter Heard Her First Sound. Our family’s circular journey through cochlear implants, loss, and vibrations.

My husband wrote a beautiful essay for @modernloss.bsky.social, about this past Rosh Hashanah, when his father died, and our daughter, a recent cochlear implant recipient, heard the shofar for the first time modernloss.com/chemo-stole-...

Sorry. Just really feeling it today.

People who know: try to not rush through the grieving process

Me:

💧I find crying fascinating (good thing, as I’ve been doing a lot of it lately?) Maybe if we learned more about it and viewed it less as a weakness and more as a powerful connector to ourselves and others, we’d sink into the need as it arises.💧

image credit @getsoundrx (IG)

And still we have been called to no collective grief ritual.

We’re awkward & uncertain around grief; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit.

Here’s Vol. 1 of “Sending this is fine. Going further is better.” Please share & inject some compassionate action into this weary world.

Whatever this means to you today, please know we’re here for you.

But: please make yourself send that text to a friend, move that body of yours in a way that feels good, listen to that song that somehow makes it better for 3 minutes, eat or drink something that feels necessary. We love you.

Hi, Bluesky. Happy to be here. Our first post is for LA and all of its people, places, and very special creatures. modernloss.substack.com/p/notes-on-e...