𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔩𝔡 .ᐟ

happy birthday to my favorite son who i am wishing on time because i absolutely did not forget his birthday because he is my favorite son and i love my one and only son that is not an utter disappointment and i would never forget his birthday happy birthday *checks hand* gilbert

ooc. sbr wooo!

why don’t you make me shut up?

my heart no longer beats. but my teeth still chew.

in a bad way. you will be in pain.

i will eat it.

I will be first place once I emasculate you with my teeth.

Obviously I am not insecure about it. I am quite proud of it.

close your eyes

i am so in love with this unintelligent american. i gave vanilla ice a cowboy hat because i missed hol horse. i disgust myself.

I want you eviscerated.

( gives hol one brief goofy and lovesick grin before forcing a more angry expression onto his face. )

there is a trolley. there are 2 paths. on one path, 1 hol horse is on the rails. on the other path, 5 hol horses are on the rails. the trolley is on the path with 5 hol horses. you could pull a lever to run over the 1 hol horse instead. or you could make the trolley drift & take out all 6 hol horses

ooc. my dio is single shipped ^^

he is unfortunately my husband and, due to unnecessary modern laws, i cannot harm him.

ooc. don’t be mean to my precious higgs ):

you will be next.

ooc. thinking about this again … he’s perfect for it … i should at least make dio do his makeup like this …

someone stole my pants. vanilla ice, if it was you, i am going to gut you and display you in a common room to make an example out of you. i will make petshop eat your liver every day.

ooc. “ irl fc ” and it’s a video game character 🧐

ooc. dio irl fc. hear me out.

watching rupaul’s drag race. thinking about how he could do everything so much better.

Yes. Which is why we shall name him Alfred Giorno-2 Brando

Oh so now you listen to me … Vanilla Ice “loves on” me all the time, whenever I am not with you. ( I’m never not with you, but that is not the point. )

Who said he’s your son?

No. But that is because Hol Horse is the most ridiculous name to ever have been created. One Hol Horse is embarrassing enough, a Hol Horse and a Hol Horse Junior would be far too absurd for this world.

( he follows after, unable to stay away from hol for too long )

is there something wrong with Giorno 2? i think it is a wonderful name. perhaps DIO jr, if they are not completely useless, unlike most of my children.

. . .

charles is a good name. but i supposed i can settle for giorno 2.

hol horse i swear to DIO! that if you do not go to the kitchen and make me a sandwich RIGHT NOW, i am naming your son charles.

i am HUNGRY.

sandwich. for your beautiful wife. go.

get them yourself. YOU are making ME a sandwich. if i wanted to run around my mansion for beans, i would make my own sandwich. what kind of husband cannot even make his beautiful and pregnant wife a sandwich without help.